Steps 6 and 7

Nick S.

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Steps 6 and 7 are about being in partnership with god.

My concept of god is similar to gravity. I'm in partnership with gravity.

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1. Beginning with a list of "character defects," write out how each characteristic manifests itself (what it looks like: in terms of thinking, feeling  and behavior.
   
   EXAMPLE PROBLEM: Controlling behavior/willfulness

   • Thinking: refuse to accept things/people as they are

   • Feeling: scared something terrible will happen if I don't interfere

   • Behavior: hurt self and/or others
      

2. Then, write out what the thinking, feeling and behavior would look like if "sober." This helps provide a vision for what will fill the "hole," or vacuum, left by the elimination of old characteristics. This part might require a deeper examination of past experiences; times when I thought, felt, and behaved in a healthy/appropriate fashion. I'm going to want to believe in (based on "the truth of my experience": whatever I choose for being healthy/appropriate.
   
   EXAMPLE SOLUTION: Controlling behavior/willfulness

   • Thinking: acceptance - open to possible, positive potential - shift thinking - mind my own business

   • Feeling: humility - humble - safe - serenity with acceptance

   • Behavior: do the next right thing - ask "god-self" how important is it really?
      

3. Then, write out each characteristic to be lifted, followed by a simplified version of what will replace it, and finally an affirmation that will help secure a new belief system into consciousness. The affirmation works best when it's based on "the truth of my experience." Otherwise, it's artificially applied over old beliefs.
    

4. Practice every day (preferably out loud:, asking to have old characteristics lifted, replaced with new characteristics. Followed by reciting the appropriate affirmation.
   
   EXAMPLE WITH AFFIRMATION: Please lift my controlling behavior  and willfulness from me. Replace it with acceptance and humility. I am safe minding my own business.

 

6th step characteristics to be removed  and replaced

 

1. Perfectionism/judgmentalism

• Thinking: projects need to be done perfectly, otherwise they will need to be redone - time and energy wasted - nothing is “good enough”

• Feeling: fearful of imperfection, punishment of my own making - vulnerable to harm, anxiety

• Behavior: I’m controlling, I take “too much” time, I convince myself that I’m better than…

Replace with acceptance, gratitude, and positive attitude

• Thinking: I recognize the “imperfection” and everything is fine just the way it is

• Feeling: I feel secure in knowing “all is good,” safe

• Behavior: I relax, breathe deep, “let go”

Affirmation: I am open to positive possibilities/opportunities - I’m in partnership with god

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2. Victim attitude

• Thinking: I blame self, blame others, “It’s better to not even try,” “I don’t count, “ I shirk responsibility, I justify my self-righteous indignation

• Feeling: hurt, less than, doormat, self-righteous indignation, angry, fearful, agitated, sometimes "trapped"

• Behavior: I give up,  I complain, I sulk (often to myself:, I obsess, I beat myself up, other self-destructive behavior (anger turned in:

Replace with serenity and acceptance, clear reasoning, proper perspective, humility, and appropriate responsibilities

• • Thinking: I see the big picture/the different perspectives, I see this is worth showing up for

  • Feeling: I feel safe, calm, integrated, powerful/empowered, loving

  • Behavior: I show up, I reassure myself, I use clear reasoning, I’m gentle with myself, I make phone calls, I check in

Affirmation: with the support of my HP, I am safe, loving, calm and free; I'm able to express old feelings triggered by current events; I’m in partnership with god

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3. Controlling behavior/willfulness

• Thinking: I need to control situations so nothing screws up, I refuse to accept things/people as they are

• Feeling: scared something terrible will happen if I don't interfere, fear, anxiety, sometimes anger that the situation is what it is

• Behavior: I tell others what to do or how to do it, I don’t saying anything and I simply start doing “it” my way, I hurt self and/or others in the process

Replace with acceptance and humility

• Thinking: I need to allow things/people to be, I’m accepting

• Feeling: safe

• Behavior: I think before taking action, I edit what I might say or do, I breathe

Affirmation: I am safe minding my own business - I’m in partnership with god

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4. Resentment

• Thinking: I need to hold onto this anger to protect myself; I’m better than they are

• Feeling: hurt, victim, anger, fear

• Behavior: I obsess about/dwell upon old perceived hurts, I plot out what I “should have done,” or plan revenge

Replace with acceptance of and compassion for self  and others

• Thinking: I’m accepting, I have clarity that holding resentment hurts only me, everyone is equal

• Feeling: safe, empowered, connected to HP  and humanity

• Behavior: I practice gentle kindness toward myself and others

Affirmation: I recognize others as human like me - I’m in partnership with god

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5. Care-taking others

• Thinking: I need to rescue them (to get my needs met, I need to martyr myself; to get others’ needs met, my existence is to suffer,); I sometimes experience confusion

• Feeling: fear, victim, serving penance, I don’t count

• Behavior: I sacrifice my needs/wants,

Replace with self care

• Thinking: I have clarity regarding what’s mine and what’s someone else’s, I’m clear regarding my response-ability, taking care of me is taking care of others

• Feeling: safe, empowered

• Behavior: I take good care of myself

Affirmation: I am safe and secure in my higher self (my partnership with god:

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6. Dishonesty

• Thinking: I need to lie to protect myself (and sometimes others:, sometimes confusion

• Feeling: fear, I sometimes feel like a victim

• Behavior: I lie, I bend the truth, I withhold truth

Replace with honesty

• Thinking: I need to maintain personal integrity and clarity of values

• Feeling: safe, empowered

• Behavior: I tell the truth (always keeping in mind my values:

Rotary Connection: Of things we think, say or do:

• Is it the truth?

• Is it fair to all concerned?

• Will it build goodwill and better friendships?

• Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

Affirmation: honesty helps heal wounds - I’m in partnership with god

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7. Inconsideration

• Thinking: about myself - sometimes along with victim thinking-flashback, about something else - my not being present

• Feeling: fear, I sometimes feel like a victim-flashback

• Behavior: I say and do hurtful things

Replace with consideration  and compassion for others

• Thinking: I have awareness of everyone involved, including myself - reminding myself that I don’t know details of others’ situations, I’m present

• Feeling: safe, adult, empowered

• Behavior: I act from a place of kind consideration

Affirmation: all men are brothers - I’m in partnership with god

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8. Not owning my own power

• Thinking: I don’t know what to do, I’m ineffective, I might get hurt

• Feeling: fear, lost, I sometimes feel panic/anxiety

• Behavior: I shut-down/freeze, I act like a doormat, I hide

Replace with owning up to my response-ability

• Thinking: I follow intuition, I’m secure with HP

• Feeling: safe, empowered, calm/centered

• Behavior: I respond appropriately to available information

Affirmation: recognizing  and asserting my power opens me to abundance - I’m in partnership with god

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9. Lack of self-confidence

• Thinking: I’m not good enough, I simply give up, I beat myself up

• Feeling: shame, shut down, sad, sometimes fear

• Behavior: I shut down, I hide, I give up

Replace with self confidence

• Thinking: I’m secure with HP, I remind myself that I’m capable, I’m gentle with myself

• Feeling: secure in myself  and in HP, empowered

• Behavior: I take action, I do the next right thing, I show up

Affirmation: I remind myself that I’m capable - I’m in partnership with god

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10. Self-centeredness

• Thinking: There is scarcity, I need to get mine, I need to control

• Feeling: fear, anxiety, anger/resentment

• Behavior: I say and do hurtful things, I seek revenge; outcome of behavior: I miss opportunities to help others

Replace with consideration, compassion  and empathy for myself and others

• Thinking: There is abundance. There’s plenty for everyone. I allow HP to guide

• Feeling: safe, empowered, radiant

• Behavior: I look for opportunities to help others and offer help

Affirmation: I’m safe, supported  and confident in my own power (my partnership with god:

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11. Irresponsibility

• Thinking: sometimes: I don’t know how to do this, I can’t do this, sometimes: flashback, denial

• Feeling: fear, overwhelmed

• Behavior: I delay, I procrastinate, I’m in denial, I don’t show up

Replace with response-ability

• Thinking: I’m capable  and willing

• Feeling: safe,  and secure with HP, self-confident

• Behavior: I show up, I take action

Affirmation: abundance  and transformation are available to me through embracing my responsibility - I’m in partnership with god

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12. Placing responsibility for my feelings on others

• Thinking: “They make me feel____”; “I have to put up with this (whatever someone is doing”; “They should stop/start doing ____”; victim

• Feeling: victim, hurt, angry, sad, fear, (flashback:, ineffectual)

• Behavior: I say or think, “They make me feel____” , I lash out, I blame, I hold grudges/resentments, I say or think, “They should stop/start doing ______”

Replace with owning my own feelings

• Thinking: I’m strong enough to own my feelings, I own my side of the street

• Feeling: safe, strong, empowered

• Behavior: I own my own feelings, I ask for help from HP and others

Affirmation: I’m empowered by owning my own feelings - I’m in partnership with god

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13. Lack of acceptance

• Thinking: things should be different, victim, I should force some kind of change

• Feeling: impatient, frustrated, angry, fearful, sometimes sad

• Behavior: I try to force some kind of change, I yell (sometimes internally), I’m agitated

Replace with acceptance  and appropriate self-care

• Thinking: HP is in charge, everything is fine, just the way it is;

• Feeling: safe, calm, patient

• Behavior: I let go, I relax, I breathe

Affirmation: everything is fine, just the way it is - I’m in partnership with god

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14. Deprivation or resistance to abundance

• Thinking: I can get along without ____;  If I allow positive stuff in I’ll get hurt; I want that, but I can’t have it; I’m a doormat, I’m a victim, I’m a martyr; I should self-sacrifice

• Feeling: fear/terror, sad, regret, anger, frustration, pain

• Behavior: I shut down, I distract self, I procrastinate, I martyr, I make myself a doormat

Replace with allowing abundance in

• Thinking: I want that and I have as much chance of getting it as anyone, it’s safe to desire, it’s safe to allow abundance in, I’m an active participant in fulfilling my desires

• Feeling: safe, excited, energized, I feel I’m moving toward abundance, empowered

• Behavior: I say “yes”, I move forward, I stay focused

Affirmation: my strength is in my vulnerability - I’m an active participant in fulfilling my desires - I’m in partnership with god

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15. Arrogance/pride

• Thinking: I’m better than ____

• Feeling: superior, precariously powerful

• Behavior: I’m haughty, I’m condescending, I say condescending things to be hurtful

Replace with humility, gratitude  and connectedness to others

• Thinking: I’m equal to everyone
• Feeling: humble
• Behavior: I say/think, “There but for the grace of god go I,” I am of service, I say  and do kind things

Affirmation: I’m a channel for my HP - I’m in partnership with god

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