August 2020: Anorexia
CONTENTS
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Opportunities for Newsletter Submission
Anorexia
Anonymous
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Sometimes, in life, I feel so small.
As if I don’t matter at all.
I’m on the path,
but lost;
surrounded
by so much,
bounty;
with aloneness.
Anorexia
Chris M
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When I first came to SLAA I thought I was there because my whole life and thinking revolved around sexual encounters and relationships that did not work for me. I would keep going back to the same sexual partners that I would act out with whether it would be with an ex girlfriend or someone I was leading on with no intention of pursuing a relationship with or I'd be pursuing someone who was emotionally unavailable. I was dragging this relationship out with one girl I would keep going back and forth with and just didn't have the courage to let go of. If I wasn't pursuing someone, I was fantasizing about it with porn or intrigue.
Eventually as I started working steps with a sponsor and sharing, my thinking started to change. For the longest time I had myself convinced that there was just something missing from me that a girl needed from a man so I wouldn't pursue something that I would be happy with or I would feel intense shame and guilt when in the presence of someone I found attractive. It turns out that it wasn't rejection I was avoiding, it was intimacy. The thought of being "friends first" or just casually socializing with someone I found attractive was nerve-wracking to me. As much as I'd like to deny it, I've had opportunities to take someone or at least ask someone on a date that I felt attraction for but never pursued it.
I am an anorexic, today I can own that. As far as recovery, I have a new respect for sex and for myself. Recently I've had opportunities to act out or meet partners that were no good for me and have denied them. My focus is on myself and changes that I need to make instead of liabilities I would condemn others for. The idea of "friends first" is the only way to go, and approaching dating with more of an open mind instead of a preconceived fantasy about the person is what makes sense to me. I've been single for four years now and it's okay. I'm working on putting my life together and being more social. I've abandoned online dating and decided to go old fashion. I figure if I can't casually socialize with someone, what else can I expect with that person. I may not be where I want to be at this time but I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Heartbreaker
Samantha V
Heart
like a jawbreaker
every layer
a different
flavor
a casing
used to save me
or at least
keep me safer
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All Marked Up
Samantha V
Some of these scars
on my heart
are marked with a Sharpie
And they're so damn dark
they'll always
be a part of me
No matter how hard
or even how
smartly
I try to wipe
or hide inside
they still spite me
And every slight will
likely blight me
So when we fight
please try
to write lightly.
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Dust if Off
Samantha V
Where is the woman I once knew, who shunned
her heart she kept on broken dusty shelves?
Piecing together self, now into selves.
Now serendipity has left her stunned,
into an unknown mystery she delves.
Where is the woman I once knew, who shunned
her heart she kept on broken dusty shelves?
Within the dusty glass it starts to thrum:
a reverie, a romance now indwells,
a feeling once she thought that she had quelled.
Where is the woman I once knew, who shunned
her heart she kept on broken dusty shelves?
Piecing together self, now into selves.
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Announcements
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Thank You from Intergroup
The Chicago-Milwaukee Intergroup would like to express gratitude to the following groups for their contributions, as reported at the August meeting:​​​​
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Thursday Keep Coming Back SLAA Group (7/3/20): $60.00
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Tuesday Solution in the Suburbs SLAA Group (7/1/20): $24.00
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Friday & Sunday Beverly Serenity SLAA Group: $90.00
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Individual Donations (6/20/20-7/17/20): $75.00
These contributions help with Intergroup operations so we can continue to carry the message. Thank you!
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New Meditation Meeting
Wednesdays
8:30pm-9:00pm
Call 701-802-5209; Access Code 4963445#
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This meeting will be an enhancement to the meetings you already attend by offering a selection from the SLAA text, 5 minutes of collective meditation on the reading, and brief shares following that.If you are interested in chairing a meeting, please contact Mailroom@SLAAchicago.org (it's easy--there is a script to follow!) Start and end your day with a short and sweet new meeting!
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Intergroup Positions Available
In March, the Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup held elections for Intergroup officer positions. There are still service positions available. If you would like to participate, we encourage you to join us on September 19, 2020 at 8 a.m. We are meeting remotely, please contact 312-725-9918 for details.
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Opportunities for Newsletter Submission
As members of SLAA, you have the opportunity to contribute to our local Intergroup newsletters, as well as the fellowship-wide newsletter. Read on for more information.
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Contribute to GREAT FACT
GREAT FACT—what you are reading at this very minute—is the newsletter for the Greater Chicago–Milwaukee Intergroup.
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We're prepping for publication for the next few months and looking for the following submissions:
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Essays
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Fiction
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Poetry
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Artwork
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Photography
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Upcoming deadlines:​​​ ​
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September (September 10th): “Self-Care” What are your top self care ideas? Is self care important to your recovery and if so, why?
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October (October 7th): “Willingness” What ways do you use willingness in your program? How do you become willing?
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission." Please feel free to send us something outside of the themes above, and we’ll slot it in when appropriate. Thanks!
Upcoming Events
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SLAA Summer Retreat
September 25-27
LaSalle Manor in Plano, IL.
Register @ http://www.slaachicago.org/events
The SLAA Retreat is full, please register to be placed on the waitlist!
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Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Meeting Minutes
Saturday, July 18, 2020
Attendance
Vince: Chair RFG
Anthony: Fiduciary Chair, ABM Delegate KCB, RFG
Chris S: Fall Gathering Co-Chair, Inreach Assist. Chair RFG
Verne: Inreach/IG Rep Rise And Shine
Francis: Co-Editor Newsletter Rise And Shine
Christie K: Website Facilitator RFG
Barney: IG Rep Evanston Thursday, St. Hedwig
Caitlyn K: Co-Editor Newsletter RFG
Kristin S: IG Rep Milwaukee Sat. am
Dave SC: IG Rep Beverly Fri/Sun
Chase: Co-Fid Chair/IG Rep RFG
Hannah C: IG Rep/ Summer Retreat Co-Chair RFG
Hannah K: RFG
After a moment of quiet, readings of the Prayer for a Trusted Servant and our Intergroup Statement of Purpose and the Twelve Traditions we reviewed our agenda and had a brief lead addressing Concept 2 of the 12 Concepts of Service. Concept 3 will be taken up next month.
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Chairperson Report
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Motion to approve June IG Meeting minutes was unanimously approved.
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Review & Update our By-laws process: no progress made this month, and
it’s anticipated that until September this issue will be “on hold”. -
A message was sent to Smeetingschicago.com’s email account, stating
our intention to remove the link from our website to theirs. The website administrator acknowledged our request to have visitors to their website interested in and with questions about SLAA referred to our website directly. Smeetingschicago.com’s administrator understood our concern, and will consider attending our IG meeting to speak about this.-
A question was raised whether Smeetings picks up on Meeting info/changes made to the SLAA website, but we don’t know. Further contact with their administrator could shed light.
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Issue raised: anecdotally, several members of SLAA only found us through the Smeetings website. However, discussion noted that a recent Google search for Chicago, meetings, sex and love addiction resulted with our SLAA website listed 1st and the Smeetings website came up 4th.
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Website Facilitation Report
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Links to SmeetingsChicago website have been erased.
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Lots of activities are being posted on the Website (e.g., Meeting Zoom
directions, Retreat info, Game night info)
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Fiduciary Report
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The Treasurer's Report was unanimously approved.
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Poster Board signs discussed last month for meetings returning to
in-person status have not been produced, given the recent up-tick in Covid-19 infection rates signaling the state of IL may move back to Covid Response Phase 3. Discussion was raised about a few meetings that’ve moved to hybrid (in-person and on-line) status. The Website manager requested that groups moving to hybrid or in-person status have a representative email her so that the changes can be noted on our website
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Inreach Report
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Newsletter: Editors announced date set to publish the July Newsletter.
Concern over so few submissions, only one article will be included this month, and art pieces have been very light, lately. Question was raised; do we need more help to find submissions? Discussion: even if content is low the Newsletters announcements and IG news is important enough to get out to fellowship. To be considered further.-
Editor will send out the proposed July Newsletter to IG participants for feedback.
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Summer Retreat: We have 19 registrants, with a maximum capacity of 25 participants, so it’s filling up. The planning committee has come up with lots of ideas for keeping the Retreat safe. With it being held in Wisconsin, the risk of Illinois moving to restrict contacts is not a factor.
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Phone-in Prayer/Meditation Meeting: Very few of our fellowship have called in to participate in the new meeting this month. We will consider how to move forward given the very low attendance.
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Game Night: Set time, date as 5:00-7:00pm August 8, on Zoom. An email has been sent out to our fellowship, and please add this activity to your meeting announcements; have those interested in attending send an email to the IG website to RSVP: fellowshipgamenight@gmail.com
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Fall Gathering update: NSAlAnoClub may not be able to host this fall; maybe we’ll produce a hybrid in-person/on-line gathering. Theme: Living life on life’s terms. Work is being done to fill up speakers positions. Date being considered: November 7th (to avoid Halloween).
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Back-to-Basics Workshop update: In-Reach Chairs will check in with previous In-reach chair about Back-to-Basics Workshop planning.
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Outreach: Suncloud Agency asked SLAA for a speaker, and we’ve decided that Anthony and Hannah K will be setting up a time in late July to provide outreach services to them.
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Annual Business Meeting (ABM) will meet one day, not 4 this year. There’ll be conference committee meetings, and all are invited to attend. This year the new SLAA 12 & 12, our Basic Text edits and other writing will NOT be addressed. We hope next year they will be handled.
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New board of trustees will be elected, and that’s the only agenda item for this year.
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Every small group of SLAA members have an opportunity to provide feedback on any ABM items (e.g., new literature pieces up for publication). Our Outreach chair is wanting us to promote a more open writing/editing process.
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New Business: no time for report.
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Meeting Representative Announcements
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The 8:30pm Prayer/Meditation phone-in meetings will have a
save-the-date memo sent out; Call: 701-802-5209, Access #4963445 -
Encourage IG donations via Venmo (@Augustine-fellowship).
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Encourage Submissions for the Newsletter: Mailroom@slaachicago.org
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Game Night: August 8th, 5:00-7:00pm fellowshipgamenight@gmail.com
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Register for the Summer Retreat (August 28-30), at slaachicago.org.
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Encourage members looking to do service to attend IG meeting next
month, August 15, on Zoom.
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Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Treasury Report
07/16/20-08/16/20
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Starting Balance July 16, 2020 $6,588.56
Total Intergroup Group/Individual Donations +$249.00
Total Donations and Retreat Revenue $1944.00
Total Expenses $718.84
Acct. Current Balance (8/16/20) Act. $7,813.72
*The full treasury report is available through your Group Intergroup Representative or by request to: mailroom@slaachicago.org.
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SLAA Online Text-Only Chat
Those who need an additional resource in their SLAA recovery are invited to SLAA Online text-only chat recovery fellowship. Find more information by visiting the SLAA website, slaaonline.org, or by emailing slaaonline@yahoo.com.
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Contribute to West Chicago Intergroup Newsletter
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Our friends in the West Chicago Intergroup invite members to contribute to their newsletter to share their experience, strength, and hope. According to Mark K., "Writing an article for our newsletter is one way you can serve yourself and others." For more information, email pcomind@gmail.com or visit the West Chicago Intergroup website.
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Contribute to the Fellowship-Wide Newsletter: Journal
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​The Journal is SLAA’s fellowship-wide newsletter, which goes out to fellows around the world.
The Journal seeks submissions for the “Question of the Day” for upcoming issues (deadline): ​​
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November/December: "Reconciliation" Please share your experience, strength, and hope around reconciliation. How do you deal with expectations and “lay an entirely new foundation for cooperation, trust and inti- macy?” (Sept. 15)
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January/February: "Anonymity" Do you feel different about anonymity than when you first got here? Please share your experience, strength, and hope around breaking your anonymity to help another or any experiences around anonymity that have helped you grow in recovery. (Nov. 15)
Submit responses or other contributions to www.slaafws.org/journalsubmit.
To subscribe to the Journal or read the current issue, please click here.
Thank you for reading!
Coming in September: "Self-Care"
We invite you to share your experience, strength, and hope.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission"
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