August 2021: Working with Others
SLAA Fall Gathering
"If you persist, remarkable things will happen"
Saturday October 9th 11:30 AM - 6:00 PM CST
5555 N Lincoln Ave
An Open Event*
Registration is now open, register at http://www.slaachicago.org
*Open meetings are open to not only those identifying as sex and love addicts, but also those interested in learning more about sex and love addiction or looking to attend with or out of concern for someone else.
Working with Others: Showing Up and Getting Out of My Own Way
Anonymous
Working with others in a Program context can mean different things. In the AA “Big Book,” the chapter “Working with Others,” about step twelve, writes about ways of talking to other addicts (in this case, alcoholics) about our disease and working to let them know of our experience and our Program of recovery to help carry the message.
I must admit, that hasn’t been my experience of step twelve at all. There are a number of people in my life whom I would just love to try to convince to come to SLAA by sharing my experience, but I also recognize the importance of not trying to fix, manage, and control the outcome, which I struggle with, so I know I could likely alienate the people in my life who need help if I don’t detach from their issues.
Instead, the main gist that I get out of working step twelve daily is the importance of being of service to others, including for my own sobriety and recovery. Being of service and sobriety were not things I really cared about when I got to SLAA. Back then, I only cared about talking about my issues at meetings and not tying them to the steps, traditions, readings, or leads. But today, having worked the steps and hopefully having had a spiritual awakening, I use step twelve to guide many of my interactions, including at work and at meetings.
When I worked step twelve formally in SLAA, my sponsor didn’t give me a series of written exercises like histories or inventories. Instead, he simply said to work on finding more ways to be of service to carry the message. However imperfectly, I tie step twelve to tradition five about carrying the message to the newcomer. I work to consistently welcome newcomers and let them know that they are not alone.
So, sharing at meetings can be a form of service, especially if I’m actively sharing about how the Program is working in my life. That’s part of how I work step twelve, but so is taking active service positions. I’ve chaired different meetings, given leads, recently taken up my first Literature position, and now I have a service position at Intergroup as well. Service teaches me to get out of my own head, again, however imperfectly—I can still try to control other people, but I trust the group conscience in business meetings and elsewhere in ways that I couldn’t have years ago.
The previous eleven steps have helped with preparing to get out of my own way and do service for others. However, as one of the five S’s in our Preamble, service works in conjunction with sobriety, sponsorship/meetings, steps, and spirituality. In fact, I would argue, using each of the other S’s can act as a form of service to others: whether we practice greater sexual and emotional sobriety, share honestly about our experience at meetings (and listen to others do the same), sponsor others, work the twelve steps, or increase our spiritual practices, we are being of service.
My sponsorship journey has been erratic, but useful. I’ve sponsored others who have dropped out of the Program, and others have left expecting me to tell them what to do when they don’t ask (in my experience, unsolicited advice-giving is a way to “run the show” for others and to not work step three). But I have learned a lot as a sponsor, especially in (hopefully) long term sobriety.
So, working with others as part of step twelve has changed my life and represented an ongoing culmination of my work in SLAA. I can’t do this work alone, so working with others also means developing skills for listening and collaboration that I didn’t always have. Thank you, SLAA.
“THIS DISEASE DESTROYED MY EMPATHY”*
Gene B.
1
At the gym, scared
All sit backs to the walls, scared to
cross to ask another to dance.
More awful: dancing doesn’t end the fear. It might
even worsen.
The only ones
who make it to the floor dared not
for their own pleasure or relief,
but to show dancing can be done. They move to prove
it possible.
2
Higher Power’s looped a string round
my heart, and is pulling me on
inexorably towards who I’m
meant to be, amid scenes dotted
with people, so many of you,
bursting from all sides of the frame.
I have a shot
at trading this spy flick version
of living (where I am only
and always in espionage lurking, where each
new floor and the
elevator
doors part and some new yous enter
and my question is always and
only how to exploit the new faces, bodies)
for a real life.
3
To exit from
under those fresnels and diffused
tungsten glows means learning to care,
truly. But how? Well, I see signs every time
I work with you.
Caring, for me,
initiates in making the
effort to just notice somethings
about you, friend: in the paying attention is
the caring born.
*Uttered by the great Trevor V.
Announcements
Thank you from Intergroup
The Chicago-Milwaukee Intergroup would like to express gratitude to the following groups for their contributions, as reported at the August meeting:
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Tuesday Solution in the Suburbs SLAA Group (6/30/21): $87.00
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Hedwigs SLAA Group (7/2/21): $130.19
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Rise and Shine SLAA Group (6/25/21): $68.40
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Individual Contributions (6/17/21 - 7/16/21): $8.00
These contributions help with Intergroup operations so we can continue to carry the message. Thank you!
Intergroup Bylaws Revision
The Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup's (GCMSI) bylaws are guiding principles that inform service at the Intergroup level. These bylaws are in the process of being revised, and group feedback is very important to the revision process. Contact mailroom@slaachicago.org for details on how to get your group involved.
Intergroup Positions Available
In March, the Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup held elections for Intergroup officer positions. If you would like to participate, we encourage you to join us on September 18th at 8 a.m. This month's meeting will be hybrid, we are meeting at NTAC (909 W Belmont) as well as on Zoom, please contact 312-725-9918 for details.
Opportunities for Newsletter Submission
As members of SLAA, you have the opportunity to contribute to our local Intergroup newsletters, as well as the fellowship-wide newsletter. Read on for more information.
Contribute to GREAT FACT
GREAT FACT—what you are reading at this very minute—is the newsletter for the Greater Chicago–Milwaukee Intergroup.
We're prepping for publication for the next few months and looking for the following submissions for future issues as it pertains to your experience, strength and hope:
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Essays
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Fiction
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Poetry
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Artwork
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Photography
Upcoming deadlines:
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September (September 15th): “Healthy Boundaries”
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission." Please feel free to send us something outside of the themes above, and we’ll slot it in when appropriate. Thanks!
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Meeting Minutes- Saturday, July 17, 2021
Attendees:
Caitlyn K, RFG, Newsletter Editor, Fall Gathering and Retreat Co-Chair
Dave S, RFG, Intergroup Rep
Chris S, RFG, Inreach Chair
Vince R, RFG, Fiduciary Vice-Chair, Retreat Co-Chair
Sean M, 12/12 Living in the Solution, Outreach Chair
Hannah K, RFG, Outreach Vice-Chair
Josh F, 12/12 Living in the Solution, Intergroup Rep
Papa A, RFG, Fiduciary Chair
Kristin S, Milwaukee Sat. Morning, Co-Wesbite Facilitator
Anthony P, Keep Coming Back Group, Intergroup Chair and ABM Delegate
READINGS & INTRODUCTIONS (12 Minutes)
● Prayer for a Trusted Servant
● Traditions
● Introductions (name, group affiliation and position)
● Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA IG Statement of Purpose
● Review Agenda
● 12 Concepts of Service
● Concept 10 (Caitlyn)
OFFICER REPORTS
Facilitation (5 Minutes.)
● General Report: Anthony
○ Approve Minutes (June)
● Meeting Minutes approved, with 2 abstentions
○ Website Facilitation: Kristin, Christie (vice)
● new portion of the website under development. More coming soon. Fiduciary (5 Minutes)
● General Treasurer Report: Papa Chair/Treasurer, Vince Vice Chair
● Treasurer requests that IG reps encourage donations or sponsoring scholarships for the SLAA Retreat.
● Approve Treasury Report
● Financial report approved
OutReach (5 Minutes)
● General Report: Sean Chairperson, Hannah Vice Chair
● The streeterville meeting on Wednesday nights is closing. There is a need for a replacement meeting, especially one in the gold
coast/streeterville area. It was suggested that IG pursue starting a new meeting at Hazelden. This will be a project for both inreach and outreach chairs. In addition, other people expressing interest in helping start a new meeting will be asked to join in on the planning and coordination. Lessons learned from the experience of both starting Streeterville and other meetings will be gathered before embarking on this new project.
Inreach General Report (15 Minutes)
● General Report: Chris
○ Newsletter Report (Caitlyn and Chris)
■ Production Editor: Caitlyn
■ Contributions Editor/s: Fran, Ian
● Inreach will work with contributions editors to ensure position obligations are met.
● Inreach chair will work to find other interested SLAA members to be contributions editors.
○ Retreat Leaders Report: Vince, Caitlyn
■ Update (Registration #, etc.)
● 20 people are registered.
● Donations are requested to help with scholarships and general operations.
■ Next Steps
○ Sponsorship workshop (tabled)
■ Pending Email - next steps
○ Discussion about Fall Gathering - Caitlyn & Trevor (as available)
■ Committee Formation
● Oct. 6 is the tentative date, but there is still deliberation given the pandemic and the needs of the group.
● Lots of interest in the event!
○ Group Representation - Table and Contact by Group
● Inreach chair will work to create a listing of groups currently represented by the Chicago/Milwaukee Intergroup, and assess their participation in terms of donations and attendance to IG. Following this, Inreach will work with IG to reach out to groups on the fringe, to approach and welcome them, remind them of the IG mission and works, and encourage attendance at IG meetings.
● ABM Delegate: Anthony (5 minutes)
● The ABM is August 3rd through the 6th! The IG looks forward to hearing more about this event at subsequent IG meetings.
○ On Board 2 Observers
○ Payments for Delegates This Month: Papa
○ Q and A
New Business (10 min.) As Possible
● Round Robin check in with meeting group reps. (individual group names withheld as not relevant to meeting minutes)
○ IG rep is relaying important information about retreats and Fall Gathering, etc. to the group. Not much interest from the group in the workings of the IG, or in greater participation in things like bylaw review or literature review.
○ IG rep is encouraging others to contribute to the newsletter. Notes that at the meeting level there is lots of people doubled
up for service, making increased participation in IG difficult.
○ IG rep reports little interest on the group’s part in reviewing the by-laws, at least on the group level.
● In Person/Hybrid Review
● Meeting leaders and IG reps are encouraged to update the chicagoslaa.org website by using the meeting update form, to make sure that hybrid/in-person statuses are current.
● Other new Business
● Outreach chair would like to discuss with inreach and the IG at large, who should be in charge of disseminating individual meeting passwords. It currently is the outreach chairs role, and he is looking to distribute it out, as it is a lot of requests daily. Discussion
suggests that individual meetings should submit to the IG a contact who will pass out passwords as appropriate.
SUGGESTED ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR MEETING REPS:
● Review and Vote on Bylaws
● Submissions to newsletter - July: Summertime Sobriety August:Boundaries
● Retreat!! # Day Labor Day Weekend! 9/3 - 9/6
● Looking for Outreach Speakers (direct ask - prescreen)
● Encourage donations to IG via Venmo (@Augustine-Fellowship) ● Encourage Donations or Sponsoring Scholarships Retreat 2021
Proposed Next Meeting:
Saturday, August 21, 2021
8:00am – 9:15am
OnLine (Zoom)
In Person: Open
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Treasury Report
07/17/21-8/16/21
Starting Balance July 17, 2021 $6,501.74
Total Intergroup Group/Individual Donations $3,873.59
Total Expenses $51.34
Acct. Current Balance (08/16/21) Act. $10,323.99
*The full treasury report is available through your Group Intergroup Representative or by request to: mailroom@slaachicago.org.
SLAA Online Text-Only Chat
Those who need an additional resource in their SLAA recovery are invited to SLAA Online text-only chat recovery fellowship. Find more information by visiting the SLAA website, slaaonline.org, or by emailing slaaonline@yahoo.com.
Contribute to West Chicago Intergroup Newsletter
Our friends in the West Chicago Intergroup invite members to contribute to their newsletter to share their experience, strength, and hope. According to Mark K., "Writing an article for our newsletter is one way you can serve yourself and others." For more information, email pcomind@gmail.com or visit the West Chicago Intergroup website.
Contribute to the Fellowship-Wide Newsletter: Journal
The Journal is SLAA’s fellowship-wide newsletter, which goes out to fellows around the world.
The Journal seeks submissions for the “Question of the Day” for upcoming issues (deadline):
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September/October Issue: “People as Drugs” “Through sex, charm, emotional appeal, or persuasive in- tellect, we had used other people as ‘drugs,’ to avoid our own personal inadequacy.” S.L.A.A. Basic Text page 74. Please share your story of using people as drugs and your experience strength and hope in overcoming the desire to use people as drugs. (July 15, 2021)
Submit responses or other contributions to www.slaafws.org/journalsubmit.
To subscribe to the Journal or read the current issue, please click here.
Thank you for reading!
Coming in September: "Healthy Boundaries"
We invite you to share your experience, strength, and hope.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission"