July 2024 Intergroup News
Don’t Dream It, Be It
By Gene, John B, and Mickey
Note: This article has three authors, but because much of the content is anecdotal, we have retained the first-person point of view. This means that wherever the ‘I’ or ‘me,’ are used, it may refer to any one of us.
Part One: The Size and Shape of Fantasy
In SLAA it’s tempting to stick with a narrow, bottom line-based definition of fantasy and obsession. But obsession is larger than just continuous and intrusive sexual and romantic thoughts. It's waking up at 3 AM with ideas about eviscerating a colleague with the perfect retort. It's nostalgia and regret about how I should have been a rock star. It's thinking I can know someone else’s feelings and motives without asking them. These behaviors have been just as compelling and pernicious as my euphoric recall about porn.
Revenge-tripping, living in the past or future, and mindreading all serve my disease like my sexual and romantic fantasies. They are progressive (once I start I can’t stop). They are corrosive (when I indulge, I feel terrible about myself). They distort my relationships with those closest to me or that I want to be close to. And they compromise my ability to take positive action.
For me, fantasy is not just about escaping reality; it is about locking myself away. Once I remove myself from the truth, I find myself trapped in a cycle where the only thing I can do is fantasize more. This has been a lifelong pattern for me. When I think of myself as a kid, I remember sitting in the backseat of my dad's green Plymouth Satellite staring out the window and yearning—just wishing "it" was different. Once porn entered the picture, that internal paralysis became much more caustic. I spent so much time online acting out with people who were definitely not who they said they were. I tethered myself to the fiction completely.
In first grade I learned about Charlie Brown pining for his red-haired girl. He “knew” that if she ever noticed him, everything would be okay. That's how I began to think about my life: being sure that someone eventually would notice me and this would fix everything.
In college, a woman walked up to me and said, “I've been watching you for a while. I'd love to get to know you.” It was the worst thing in my life. But my fantasy version of the relationship was so toxic, it prevented me from seeing things as they were. She was physically violent. I was a selfish jerk. The fantasy had nothing to do with being in a relationship or connecting intimately. It was just about that image of being chosen and fixed by someone. Not getting fixed led to frustration, and I'd use that to justify my drinking, lying, pornography, and on and on. Those patterns continued throughout my life because I couldn’t be present and honest.
A program fellow taught me what I consider the perfect explanation for recovery. He says it is the process of moving from fantasy into reality. Working my program in SLAA has restored my sanity by helping me see the difference between fantasy and reality. Even in first grade I thought of myself as broken, and it took work to uncover the abuse and neglect that shaped that self image. Not only have I found the solution to compulsive sexual and romantic acting, but I have also learned to confront fantasy too. Even better, my program gives me tools for all kinds of fantasies and obsessions, not just sexual or romantic ones.
Announcements
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SAVE THE DATE
Screening and discussion of the movie Gratitude Revealed
Saturday, August 24, 2 to 4:30 pm
Grace Episcopal Church, 924 Lake Street - Oak Park IL 60301
Summer Retreat 2024
Note: The retreat coordinators are seeking $330 in donations to cover 2 scholarships. Please ask your home group to consider donating to this fund. Thank you.
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Dekoven Center
Racine, Wisconsin
August 15 -18, 2024
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Register at:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfyGlAvjc4h6wVK_mezR-bKapUFPPp1CxRicRLRupYV6vUwUA/viewform
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Date Change for August Intergroup Meeting!!!
The intergroup meeting will be held on Saturday August 24th from 8:00am-9:15am (the meeting has been moved back from the 3rd Saturday to the 4th Saturday of the month to accommodate the SLAA Summer Retreat). In Person and Zoom (Hybrid).
Location: 3326 N. Ashland, Chicago IL 60657
There is parking at the Target on the Northwest corner of School and Ashland. You must park in an upper level of the garage and not on the street-level parking in order to avoid the risk of a ticket.
Opportunity for Service:
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A Chicagoland area treatment center is looking for SLAA speakers to share their experience, strength and hope in SLAA recovery at their Northbrook facility. This treatment center also has opportunities for SLAA members to speak virtually. Because it’s a professional facility, speakers will be interviewed by the SLAA Outreach Chair about their sobriety and experience in SLAA. To inquire, contact mailroom@slaachicago.org
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Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup Representation
The Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup is grateful to have representatives from the following meetings :
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12x12 Living in the Solution
Friday/ Sunday Beverly
Priceless Gift of Sobriety Meeting
Ravenswood Fellowship Group
Tuesday Keep Coming Back Group
Thursday Keep Coming Group
Friday Night “Into Action”
Saturday Morning Oak Park
The Intergroup is still seeking representatives from the following meetings:
Solution in the Suburbs
Monday Night Naperville
Tuesday Morning Suburban West
SLAA From Anorexia to Healthy Relationships
Wednesday Morning Suburban West
Milwaukee Wednesday Evening Meeting
Reba Place Church
Thursday Night Naperville
Friday Morning Suburban West
Friday Evening Suburban West
Friday Night Live
Rise & Shine (St. Pauls)
Sunday Morning Suburban West Meeting
Sunday Night Women’s Meeting (WOMEN ONLY)
Sunday Night Oak Park (Newcomer Focus)
Sunday Night Andersonville Meeting
Evanston Sunday Night Group
Women Stepping Into Serenity
Please join us in developing an inclusive SLAA community that represents the entire Chicago/Milwaukee area.
The intergroup would like to remind everyone that it relies on monetary donations from groups to fund its service projects. If you are an intergroup representative, please ask your home group to consider making a monthly donation to the intergroup. When sending donations via Venmo, please write “group donation” in the comments section and specify which group the donation is coming from.
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Contribute to GREAT FACT
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GREAT FACT—what you are reading at this very minute—is the newsletter for the Greater Chicago–Milwaukee Intergroup.
We're prepping for publication for the next few months and looking for the following submissions for future issues as it pertains to your experience, strength and hope:
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Essays
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Fiction
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Poetry
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Artwork
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Photography
​Upcoming Theme:
August: “Our Side of the Street”. In step 8, how did you prepare spiritually and practically to make amends to those you had harmed?
Deadline for submissions is August 24th.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission." Please feel free to send us something outside of the themes above, and we’ll slot it in when appropriate. Thanks!
June Intergroup Minutes
GREATER CHICAGO/MILWAUKEE SLAA INTERGROUP
Agenda for June 15, 2024 8:00 AM – 9:15 AM
Name, Home Group, Intergroup Position
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Cristian, 12x12 Living in the Solution, IG Rep, ABM Delegate
Caitlyn, RFG, Inreach Chair, ABM Delegate, IG Rep
Hannah K,RFG, Fiduciary Committee
Chris, RFG, Facilitation Chair
Abby, RFG, Tuesday Keep Coming Back, Summer Retreat Co-chair, Website facilitator, ABM Delegate
Ian, RFG, Tuesday Keep Coming Back, Outreach Chair
Nathan,RFG; Tuesday Keep Coming Back, IG Rep
Anthony, Tuesday Keep Coming Back, ABM Delegate, Inreach Vice-Chair
Burke, 12x12 Living in the Solution ,Events Co-Chair
Larry, Saturday Oak Park, IG Rep
Joe,Tuesday Night Priceless Gift of Sobriety, IG Rep
Jeremy, RFG, Fall Gathering Co-Chair
READINGS & INTRODUCTIONS (10 Minutes)
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Prayer for a Trusted Servant
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Traditions
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Introductions (name, group affiliation and position)
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Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA IG Statement of Purpose
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Review Agenda
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Concept 7 - Burke July Concept 8 - Hannah K
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Abby - add Nathan H to the IG mailing list
Facilitation (5 Minutes.)
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General Report: Chris
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Approve Minutes: May Approved
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Website Facilitation: Abby
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Web Facilitation:
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Special Projects:
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Drop Down Menu Project No Updates, still looking for a co-website facilitator
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Google Drive Access - Chris Making some progress on transitioning file ownership to IG gmail account. Access to the drive is not available publicly, but those who want access can view (not edit) files. Discussion around how information is stored (retreat, fall gathering registrations) so that the google drive can be available publicly.
Fiduciary (5 Minutes)
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General Treasurer Report: Zane
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Planning to transfer to new Fiduciary chair
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Report Financials: General
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May Fiduciary Report - was not voted on during meeting
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Zane to confirm if DeKoven down payment was paid, should be added to the fiduciary report.
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Will look to approve report via email
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One sheet page was put together on where the financials are actually at. One year of activity is our prudent reserve; SLAA retreat has down payment of $4k before ticket sales get started. Operational budget over and above is what we are planning on spending in the next year.
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Ask Ryan to add the financial overview/one pager this to the newsletter.
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Create a special issue to educate groups about what Intergroup is, what the financials are
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Q and A
OutReach (5 Minutes)
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General Report: Ian W
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Inreach/Outreach team up - outreach to far suburban meetings
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SLAA Speakers for Suncloud - direct asks
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Ian gave Kimmy a list of 4 qualified speakers, still looking to get training together for new members.
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Look to do 1:1 training instead of trying to get a bigger group together
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Qualifications from Suncloud do not require sobriety requirement, Intergroup asking for those who have 1 year of sobriety
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Are there other facilities we can do outreach to? Other facilities in Chicago.
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Q and A
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Cristian to help for any spanish-speaking requests
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Inreach General Report (20 Minutes)
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General Report: Caitlyn K
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Newsletter Report (Production Editor Ryan W
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Ryan to send out July theme via email
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Summer Retreat 2024
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Today is the last day to get the early bird pricing $299
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28 registered: 18 fully paid, 1 partially paid, 9 needs to be paid
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3 scholarships requested
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$293 in individual contributions, no group donations yet
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May be $299 higher
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Last year, 35 were registered at this point
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$1200 rollover from last year
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Individually calling people, emails, contacting those that attending in the last 2 years, working to attend all meetings
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Contract is for 30 people
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What goes on at the retreat? 4 days, longer leads, breakout groups, fellowship, food and lodging are provided, camp fires, board games, event is not open to partners, chance to retreat and work on sobriety, beautiful grounds on Lake Michigan.
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Confirm regular pricing after early bird is done
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Q and A
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Registration and payment report
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Event Coordinator: Burke and Andrew C
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Bowling Event last month - 15 people who attended, some with partners, need to reconcile the financials, will work with Zane to confirm
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Movie Night in Oak Park New Event coming up! The movie is Gratitude Revealed, the date is TBD, once the date is confirmed send to Chris. Burke will put together a budget to propose to IG (rental fees, snacks, etc).
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Q and A
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Fall Gathering
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Potential co-chair Chris D, will look to elect her at the next Intergroup, Jeremy to ask her to attend July IG meeting
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Looking to go back to Grace Episcopal Church again
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Looking at dates for October
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Inreach to our zoom meetings and previously in person meetings - how can we be of service to these groups? Online workshops at a standard time, engage more people online, short list of list for those that attend online meetings, efforts under Inreach/Outreach to get more meeting reps, announce upcoming events.
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Annual Business Meeting Delegates (30 min)
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ABM Delegates: Anthony and Caitlyn, 2024 ABM Delegates
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Delegate Registration Update
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New Requirement is that all SLAA meetings have to be registered on FWS website. Intergroup has registered all Chicago/Milwaukee Intergroup registered meetings, if any meeting wants to edit their listing, please email mailroom.
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For Delegates, please let us know if you receive emails from FWS executive director on any issues.
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Testing of Dekoven for 2025 ABM Bid/2024 ABM meeting.
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Online ABM this year
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The 50 BTS editor was forced to break motion into 2 IFDs, had pushback from ARS. The 2 IFD are the 1) basic text and 2) stories
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Second style committee assigned to the basic text.
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Proposed preamble edits are not grammatically correct, Joe to send examples
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Caitlyn/Abby/Anthony to put together a list of facilities to attend ABM/host ABM by Wednesday.
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Bid for Chicago 2025: cost effective plan and plenty of service needed.
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ABM Registration Deadline 6/24/24
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ABM 2025/2026 bid discussion
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Will need to have this ready by the start of ABM, 45-55 people, will need a space to arrange chairs in a square
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New Business (5 min.) As Possible
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Intergroup Representatives Feedback
SUGGESTED ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR MEETING REPS:
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Submissions to newsletter - June theme: Willingness
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Deadline for Submissions: June 15, 2024
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SLAA Summer Retreat August 15-18
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Subscribe to the newsletter on the slaachicago website
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Encourage donations to IG via Venmo (@Augustine-Fellowship)
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Please submit Meeting Updates via the Meeting Update Function on the Website (reopening, etc.)
Proposed Next Meeting: July 20, 2024.
8:00am – 9:15 am
Hybrid both In-Person (preferred) and OnLine (Zoom ID Above)
3326 N Ashland Ave.
Visit us at www.slaachicago.org
Higher Power,
We ask your guidance in carrying out this work in service to the Fellowship. Relieve us of the burdens of our egos and perfectionism.
Grant us the grace of humility.
Remind us to place principles before personalities.
Help us to focus only on the greater good of the group.
Let us know that we are responsible only for doing the leg work, not the outcome. Give us the faith to trust in You and the Group Conscience.
And grant us the serenity to accept the things we can not change the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Fiduciary Report
Overall Report
Reporting Range: 6/11-7/17
Previous Month's Balance: $18,021.45
Expenses: -$4,563.86
Income (Donations): $104.54
Income (Events): $2,986
Current Balance: $ 16,548.13
Prudent Reserve: -$8,477.67
Working Balance: $ 8,070.46
* Expenses include:
DeKoven Center - Retreat Downpayment: $3,702.00
ABM Expense Registration/Housing: $570.00
Intergroup Room Rent (NTAC) Monthly: $35.00
Intergroup Zoom Account Monthly: $34.86
USPS P.O. Box Yearly: $222.00
* Income includes:
Donations
7th Tradition Contributions:
Tuesday Keep Coming Back SLAA Group:$3.00
Thursday Path is Wide Enough (FKA KCB) (In-person): $2.00
12x12 Living in the Solution (On Orchard): $36.00
Ravenswood Fellowship Group: $10.00
Tuesday Morning Suburban West (Zoom): $25.54
Individual Donations: $28.00
Thank you to the groups (and individuals) who sent in 7th tradition contributions!
2024 Retreat
Retreat Registrant Payments: $2,755.00
Retreat Donations (Individual) : $81.00
Retreat Donations (Group): $150.00
**Please note that even though the working balance may seem high, there is still a substantial retreat payment being sent in this coming week.
Please continue to encourage 7th tradition contributions from your groups, and remember to indicate your group's name and "Group Donation" in the comments section on Venmo.
Additionally, if you would like to see the full reporting for July, see the attached PDF. You can also review all of the monthly reports on the master spreadsheet which is available for anyone to view in the Google Drive. Let me know if you need help accessing that.
Any questions or points to consider are always welcome!
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SLAA Online Text-Only Chat
Those who need an additional resource in their SLAA recovery are invited to SLAA Online text-only chat recovery fellowship. Find more information by visiting the SLAA website, slaaonline.org, or by emailing slaaonline@yahoo.com.
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​​​​​Contribute to the Fellowship-Wide Newsletter: Journal​
​​The Journal is SLAA’s fellowship-wide newsletter, which goes out to fellows across the world.
Upcoming themes are TO BE ANNOUNCED
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Submit responses or other contributions to www.slaafws.org/journalsubmit.
To subscribe to the Journal or read the current issue, please click here.
Thank you for reading!
Coming in August:
“Our Side of the Street”. In step 8, how did you prepare spiritually and practically to make amends to those you had harmed?
Deadline for submissions is August 24th.
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We invite you to share your experience, strength, and hope.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org
with the subject line "Newsletter Submission"
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