September 2024 Intergroup News
Faith Without
Works is Dead
I’ve learned a lot about amends in SLAA. I’ve heard it said in different contexts that amends aren’t simply apologies, and indeed, for me, the key to making amends is working to change my behavior beforehand.
My understanding of step eight from working it is that I “became willing to make amends to them all” by focusing on the work of steps six and seven, by working on my shortcomings and to pray to have my Higher Power remove them, at least for today.
When I worked step eight in this program, I made my list and felt like I was doing pretty well–until I found out my sponsor wanted me to contact these people on the phone, which outright terrified me.
That may sound ridiculous, but I hadn’t spoken to some of these people for the better part of two decades, and I still think it would have caused them–as well as myself–harm for me to look them up online and call them at work and say, “Hey, would you like to meet for coffee?” to make amends to them.
On a basic level, this program is about boundaries, and it would have been harmful to directly contact some people.
One of the people I was most scared of contacting was someone who used to work at my high school. She was the faculty advisor for a project I did, in which I most definitely slacked off, and she called me out on it back then. I recognized that I had harmed her in ways that I hadn’t held myself accountable for.
Needless to say, I didn’t feel comfortable calling her out of the blue at a different workplace to invite her to coffee without explanation–it felt invasive, among other things.
So, I did the next best thing: with my sponsor’s okay, I wrote an amends letter as a private message on a social media site. I explained my part in the situation and that the way I had acted was unfair to her.
Soon afterwards, I received a reply expressing less “I forgive you” and more “don’t even worry about it!” I was shocked. She even said I was one of her favorite students she had ever worked with in two decades of teaching.
I won’t lie: that was a relief. I’ve put a lot of emotional stock in amends, focusing heavily on the outcome, often with fear of what could happen. I don’t want to beat myself up for that, but I’d like to get better about not focusing on outcomes and focusing more on the process.
-Anonymous
A Difficult Amends
The most difficult amends I made in my SLAA recovery was the one I made to my wife, but it didn’t happen for years after I disclosed to her that I was a sex and love addict. At first I stayed abstinent out of fear of losing my marriage. I showed up at meetings, and said things that made me feel that I was checking all the right boxes. I was abstinent, not sober, because I was not really working the steps. I wasn't sponsoring other men. I was not having the spiritual experience that I had seen this program grant other addicts. I had one foot in the program for appearances, and one foot out so I wouldn't have to commit to anything of much substance. So my “faith without works” was dead. I wasn’t “working”. I was going through the motions, but I was not getting better, emotionally or spiritually.
This existence and nonexistence in program led to a year-long relapse with porn that I kept secret from everyone, including my wife.
When I finally got a sponsor and worked the steps and arrived at step nine, I was terrified to hold myself accountable for the ways I had harmed her throughout our relationship, and especially to disclose the secret of the relapse that I’d been holding onto for years.
I had a supportive group of men in SLAA to share my process with. I had a sponsor who helped me write a letter to her, so I could get clear about what to say when I made the amends. I wasn’t alone in this, but I was still terrified of the outcome. I had hurt her so much when I originally disclosed that I was watching porn and talking in chat rooms that it almost ruined our marriage. I was so afraid of going through a version of that again.
I believe that Higher Power spoke to me the most clearly through a sponsee I had that was very new, not very sober, and had no experience making amends. He said “what if it goes well? – a thought that had never even occurred to me. ”What if doing this action brought us closer? I had little Faith that my amends could be a positive experience.
It was a Sunday afternoon when I made the amends. All my life I had become an expert in keeping secrets, so I felt a huge weight lifted after saying what I had to say. It brought up a lot for her and we talked through it that day, and for many days afterward. The burden was lifted from me. I had no more secrets from her and I was able to hold myself accountable for all the ways I’d caused her harm.
To my surprise, it went okay. There were many things that came up for both of us as a result of my amends which we continue to talk about. I learned that when I show up and do my part in my recovery, I have faith that the outcome will help me grow. It works when I work it.
- Dave S.
Announcements
Fall Gathering 2024 is Almost Here!!!
Join us in person - for $25 pre-registration or $35 at the door. Space is limited, so we encourage you to register early! Registration closes October 20th.
Register here: https://forms.gle/k7ixwP9Wy3on6vLH8
Please reach out to slaafallgathering@gmail.com with any questions. We can’t wait to see you there!
Your Fall Gathering Co-Chairs,
Jeremy W. and Chris V.
Registration for Summer Retreat 2025 is Already Open!!!
Registration Link is Below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdMM0f_3Bur5Aau2sZDkUcdPLmPCnHYhU0RTxliT3D7Q8Uhcw/viewform
October Intergroup Meeting
The next intergroup meeting will be held on Saturday, October 19th from 8:00am-9:15am. In Person and Zoom (Hybrid).
Location: 3326 N. Ashland, Chicago IL 60657
There is parking at the Target on the Northwest corner of School and Ashland. You must park in an upper level of the garage and not on the street-level parking in order to avoid the risk of a ticket.
Opportunity for Service:
A Chicagoland area treatment center is looking for SLAA speakers to share their experience, strength and hope in SLAA recovery at their Northbrook facility. This treatment center also has opportunities for SLAA members to speak virtually. Because it’s a professional facility, speakers will be interviewed by the SLAA Outreach Chair about their sobriety and experience in SLAA. To inquire, contact mailroom@slaachicago.org
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup Representation
The Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup is grateful to have representatives from the following meetings :
12x12 Living in the Solution
Friday/ Sunday Beverly
Priceless Gift of Sobriety Meeting
Ravenswood Fellowship Group
Tuesday Keep Coming Back Group
Thursday Keep Coming Group
Friday Night “Into Action”
Saturday Morning Oak Park
The Intergroup is still seeking representatives from the following meetings:
Solution in the Suburbs
Monday Night Naperville
Tuesday Morning Suburban West
SLAA From Anorexia to Healthy Relationships
Wednesday Morning Suburban West
Milwaukee Wednesday Evening Meeting
Reba Place Church
Thursday Night Naperville
Friday Morning Suburban West
Friday Evening Suburban West
Friday Night Live
Rise & Shine (St. Pauls)
Sunday Morning Suburban West Meeting
Sunday Night Women’s Meeting (WOMEN ONLY)
Sunday Night Oak Park (Newcomer Focus)
Sunday Night Andersonville Meeting
Evanston Sunday Night Group
Women Stepping Into Serenity
Please join us in developing an inclusive SLAA community that represents the entire Chicago/Milwaukee area.
The intergroup would like to remind everyone that it relies on monetary donations from groups to fund its service projects. If you are an intergroup representative, please ask your home group to consider making a monthly donation to the intergroup. When sending donations via Venmo, please write “group donation” in the comments section and specify which group the donation is coming from.
Contribute to GREAT FACT
GREAT FACT—what you are reading at this very minute—is the newsletter for the Greater Chicago–Milwaukee Intergroup.
We're prepping for publication for the next few months and looking for the following submissions for future issues as it pertains to your experience, strength and hope:
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Essays
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Fiction
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Poetry
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Artwork
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Photography
Upcoming Theme
October: We have entered the world of the spirit. How does continuing to take your personal inventory help you to stay on spiritually solid ground?
Deadline is October 19th.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission." Please feel free to send us something outside of the themes above, and we’ll slot it in when appropriate. Thanks!
August Intergroup Minutes
GREATER CHICAGO/MILWAUKEE SLAA INTERGROUP Agenda for August 24,, 2024 8:00 AM – 9:15 AM
Name, Home Group, Intergroup Position
Caitlyn, Ravenswood Fellowship Group, Inreach Chair, ABM Delegate
Hannah K, Ravenswood Fellowship Group, Fiduciary Committee
Chris, Ravenswood Fellowship Group, Facilitation Chair
Abby, RFG, Tuesday Keep Coming Back, Summer Retreat Co-chair, Website facilitator, ABM Delegate, IG Rep
Anthony, Tuesday Keep Coming Back, ABM Delegate, Inreach Vice-Chair
Burke, 12x12 Living in the Solution, Events Co-Chair
Chris V, Sunday Night Women’s Meeting, Fall Gathering Co-Chair
Ryan, Tuesday Night Priceless Gift of Sobriety, Newsletter Editor
Zane, Ravenswood Fellowship Group, Fiduciary Chair
Trevor, Ravenswood Fellowship Group, Summer Retreat Co-chair
Crystal, Ravenswood Fellowship Group, SLAA Member
Dave Sch, Friday/Sunday Beverly Serenity MeetingsIG Rep
Larry, Saturday Morning Grace Episcopal Meeting IG Rep
Tony, Tuesday Priceless Gift of Sobriety, IG Rep
Victor, Saturday 12x12 Living in the Solution, IG Rep
Andrew, Saturday 12x12 Living in the Solution, Events Co-Chair
READINGS & INTRODUCTIONS (10 Minutes)
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Prayer for a Trusted Servant
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Traditions
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Introductions (name, group affiliation and position)
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Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA IG Statement of Purpose
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Review Agenda
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Concept 9 - Zane, September Concept 10 - Ryan
Facilitation (5 Minutes)
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General Report: Chris
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Approve Minutes: July minutes approved
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Chris to add Chris V, Victor, Dave Sch. to the distribution list
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Website Facilitation: Abby
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Web Facilitation:
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Sunday Spanish meeting added? Meeting is added to the website, need to update the name.
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Special Projects:
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Drop Down Menu Project Zane and Abby to meet, still need a second website facilitator
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Google Drive Access and Privacy- Chris Found the original policy, will be writing up a new version but won’t change significantly, the main change will be asking personal information be stored on their personal drive and deleted right after. Chris has removed files that have personal information from the drive and will delete the information or files completely if no longer needed. Policy will be circulated shortly. Personal info will be kept for 1) event mailing lists 2) newsletters 3) permissions list for google drive 4) IG google group membership list
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Personal information - name, email address, phone number
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Officers to discuss if we should have all google files viewable (not editable) to anyone vs only limiting certain files/folders for viewable access (minutes, fiduciary, etc)
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Fiduciary (5 Minutes)
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General Treasurer Report: Zane
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August Report approved
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1 retreat payment registered Venmo as fraudulent, $330 that was suspended, an appeal was submitted
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Prudent reserve includes future retreat first checks (submitted before payments have been collected) and 2 years of retreat deposits.
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Do we include a line item for hosting ABM?
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Request for final retreat financials before next month’s meeting
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New debit cards received
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Report Financials: General
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Q and A
OutReach (5 Minutes)
● General Report: Ian W Continuing to answer emails/phone calls, no updates from Kimmy, still working on direct asks for speakers
○ Inreach/Outreach team up - outreach to far suburban meetings
○ SLAA Speakers for Treatment Centers - direct asks
○ Q and A
Inreach General Report (25 Minutes)
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General Report: Caitlyn K
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Newsletter Report (Production Editor Ryan W) September Theme, “Faith without works is dead” deadline is September 21st
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Other announcements to be included: Fall Gathering, 2025 Summer Retreat Save the Date
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Outreach around newsletter, get people sign up
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Summer Retreat 2024
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Brief report 38 participants, 5 people with scholarships. Positive feedback so far, will be sending out the official survey after the meeting for more feedback. The relationship with DeKoven and Jennifer is very positive.
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2025 Summer Retreat: August 14-17, 2025 - Abby to add dates for 2025/2026
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We have the form to sign up, we would like to include the sign up form in with the survey. Can we offer an incentive to get people to sign up early? Discount off price or deposit? Do not send out a price yet
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Feedback on the business meeting - do we do 2 vs the 1 at the end where we had less people attend; showing up is part of recovery and helpful for people to sign up. Request to look at retreat guide for guidance around issues in gender/housing
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Literature for Intergroup Events
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Financials report to come next month - co report with financial chair
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Both co-chairs and fiduciary chair to separately review financials and reconcile, be clear what the rollover is for 2025
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Event Coordinator: Burke and Andrew C
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Movie Night in Oak Park, Saturday August 24. afternoon - 2pm to 4:30 pm Oak Park is covering the rental fee (Thank you Oak Park!) Switching to in-kind donations
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Event guide - proposed budget to the Intergroup, no budget sent to the Intergroup for this event, request for budgets to be sent out prior to events
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Looking ahead at another event for December, more to come!
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Q and A
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Fall Gathering
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Save the dates are ready, digital blasts to be coming out this week, registration link is open, going to meetings to make direct asks. Going to Milwaukee to engage the meeting and look for a speaker.
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Theme: A new freedom and a new happiness.
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Will partner with Chris S to sign the contract.
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Date: October 26, 2024
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Budget will be sent to Fiduciary for approval, will send to google group for officer vote.
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Sign up form asks people to “opt-in” for future communications.
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Election of co chair- Chris V voted as new co-chair
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Progress update
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Inreach to our zoom meetings and previously in person meetings - gathering contact information
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Annual Business Meeting Delegates (25 min)
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ABM Delegates: Anthony, caitlyn, Abby, Cristian
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Brief report on ABM Written report to come; 73 voting members, 7 items were discussed/voted on, 25% of the agenda
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Fiduciary report will be sent out, concern that contributions are down, need to maintain % of donations to keep non-profit status
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Potential for Valparaiso as a convention site.
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New Business (5 min.) As Possible
● Intergroup Representatives Feedback
SUGGESTED ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR MEETING REPS:
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Submissions to newsletter - September theme: “Faith without works is dead” due September 21st
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SLAA Summer Retreat August 14-17, 2025
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Fall Gathering October 26, 2024
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Subscribe to the newsletter on the slaachicago website
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Encourage donations to IG via Venmo (@Augustine-Fellowship)
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Please submit Meeting Updates via the Meeting Update Function on the Website (reopening, etc.)
Proposed Next Meeting: September 21, 2024
8:00am – 9:15 am
Hybrid both In-Person (preferred) and OnLine (Zoom ID Above)
3326 N Ashland Ave.
Visit us at www.slaachicago.org
Higher Power,
We ask your guidance in carrying out this work in service to the Fellowship. Relieve us of the burdens of our egos and perfectionism.
Grant us the grace of humility.
Remind us to place principles before personalities.
Help us to focus only on the greater good of the group.
Let us know that we are responsible only for doing the leg work, not the outcome. Give us the faith to trust in You and the Group Conscience.
And grant us the serenity to accept the things we can not change the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Fiduciary Report
Reporting Range
8/24-9/20/24
Previous Month's Balance
$ 17,659.24
Expenses
$ (8,215.63)
Income (Donations)
$ 71.00
Income (Events)
$ 394.00
Current Balance
$ 9,908.61
Prudent Reserve
-$7,276.53
Working Balance
$ 2,632.08
Prudent Reserve (as of 9/20/24) Includes:
Rent (1 year):
$420.00
P.O. Box (1 year):
$222.00
Website Costs (1 year)
$180.00
Committee Costs Fac., Inreach, Outreach, Fid.
$250.00
Cost 3 ABM Delegates yearly: $2,000 per delegate
$6,000.00
2025 Summer Retreat Rollover (2025 retreat deposit already paid)
$204.53
Total Reserve
$7,276.53
SLAA Online Text-Only Chat
Those who need an additional resource in their SLAA recovery are invited to SLAA Online text-only chat recovery fellowship. Find more information by visiting the SLAA website, slaaonline.org, or by emailing slaaonline@yahoo.com.
Contribute to the Fellowship-Wide Newsletter: Journal
The Journal is SLAA’s fellowship-wide newsletter, which goes out to fellows across the world.
Upcoming themes are TO BE ANNOUNCED
Submit responses or other contributions to www.slaafws.org/journalsubmit.
To subscribe to the Journal or read the current issue, please click here.
Thank you for reading!
Coming in October:
We have entered the world of the spirit. How does continuing to take your personal inventory help you to stay on spiritually solid ground?
Deadline is October 19th.
We invite you to share your experience, strength, and hope.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org
with the subject line "Newsletter Submission"