December 2020: Prayer and Meditation
CONTENTS
Spiritual Awakening: Anonymous
6th and 7th Step Meditation: Jason A
The Gift of Renewed Relationships: Chris S
Announcements​
-
Opportunities for Newsletter Submission
Spiritual Awakening in Prayer, Meditation and Contact with Higher Power
Anonymous
​
Recently I gave a lead on the 12th Step at my home group, and a lot came into focus for me around what prayer, meditation and especially contact with my higher power feels like at its best. Preparing for my lead I reflected on what “spiritual awakening” (from the 12th Step) means. I meditated and prayed on it each morning but also sought it out when I struggled through emotional difficulties with my fiancé as we readied ourselves for our wedding later this month.
My earliest spiritual awakening in SLAA came when I entered my first SLAA meetings at Rise & Shine in 1998. It came from the literature as it spoke directly to ME about my compulsions, my romantic obsessions and my despair at stopping them. I awakened to the feeling that in the reality of my addiction and my hope for recovery I was not alone. Then I was spiritually awakened by my first sponsor who inspired me to let go of my self-control and do things (so MANY things) another way. As I let my sponsor in and started to feel taken up by him, he helped me to let loose of my addictive tendencies. In our 2nd Step work I experienced the presence of a gentle, happy, humorous, patient spiritual presence that watched me struggling with frustration and outrage - and simply nodded his head with understanding and good-will. Working through subsequent steps my sponsor pushed me (by making gentle but consistent suggestions) to raise my hand at the end of meetings offering to be a sponsor - I cursed him! I hated the idea of giving up his kind guidance in order to do something for someone else… Ahhhhhhh, what a spiritual awakening sponsoring has been: to be of service, of USE, passing along all I’d learned in working the 12 steps to other addicts was a new, spiritual kind of joy.
And now, as I step into a marriage grown from sober dating, support from my new sponsor and so many fellows in the program, I get to feel what it’s like to be awakened daily from my resentments, lusts and fears into a kind of intimacy I’d never have found on my own. By letting go of these character defects, and especially my debilitating way of withholding myself, I get to join with others in the dance of really living life. Not by beating others into the rhythm I see fit, but by opening up to them I can join in a mutual world of being in tune, together. You see, I’m awakening now to how spirit is found through my contact with others: I not only commune with my higher power through prayer and meditation, but as I see and really listen to and share with others I find a new intimacy through a trust I had never experienced before. I’m awakening to trusting that to be intimate, to be meaningful, it doesn’t have to be my way but by finding OUR way, together, I can get a taste of what matters most: that spiritual awakening!
​
6th and 7th Step Personalized Meditation
Jason A.
As I work on my 6th and 7th step, I wanted to do something that really would become a constant working of these steps. I feel like these steps are the key for me in changing - being aware of specific defects, and being willing to give them up. I do this every day, and my groups have recommended I share this process with you. It is not revolutionary or completely new, but it has worked well for me and a lot of my fellows have suggested letting others know about it.
First, I worked on a list of defects in step 6. There's lots of them to choose from, and I knew that I would have many options. One of my fellows gave me a list of 197 of them to look over! I must have connected to about 1/3 of those.
I knew that too many defects would keep me from actually achieving anything. I wrote down 50 of them first. Then, I wrote down a second list next to the first of words which would be replacements, using the guide from "A Gentle Path through the Twelve Steps." What I found were clear themes. Lots of words sounded the same, and had similar replacement words. I sat down and narrowed the list down to 22 defects.
Then - with this list, we wrote out 22 poker chips. On one side is the defect, and the other is the replacement - or "chip flip word." I draw a chip daily and reflect on how it impacts my life. What I came to understand is that each defect was, in fact, something that served as a higher power for me in my addiction. So, I changed my meditation and prayer to say:
<Defect> - You are no longer my higher power. I do not need you to protect me and guide me. My True Higher Power has shown me the way and given me the gift to choose <coin flip> over you. I release you.
An example -
Frustration - You are no longer my higher power. I do not need you to protect me and guide me. My True Higher Power has shown me the way and given me the gift to choose Acceptance over you. I release you.
I am up to 24 chips now - as we add or remove them as they make themselves known, and because there is no such thing as a perfect list of defects (I learned that from my sponsor in step 4/5) Using this as part of my morning meditation and prayer keeps me focused on the defect I want to release, and observant of when it - or their fellow defects - make themselves known during my day.
The Gift of Renewed Relationships
Chris S.
Part of the reason I moved to Chicago in the height of my active addiction was to stay away from my family. I found my parents annoying, needy, too emotional, and not "healthy" for me in my young adult life. I thought independence was "the answer", and while my disease progressed I retreated more and more from them. My first few jobs did not allow me to take time off during the holidays, and I didn't see this as a real problem; I would just have Christmas in Chicago, with just me and my disease. That meant pornography, and complete emotional dependence on a woman who was currently living in another country.
My first Christmas in Chicago, 2011, was a wake up call to my need to recover. That year, I had Christmas Day off, but with few friends and a video chat with parents scheduled during Christmas dinner (the most I could spend with them), I had nothing planned. I had started attending SLAA meetings a few months beforehand, as pornography had started to morph into fireable behavior at work, but I had not made many SLAA friends yet. I spent the day walking empty, snowy streets in Rogers Park, and as I saw others getting together and celebrating during the darkest time of the year, my loneliness grew. The woman I was dating at the time was too busy to even talk that day, and so my social event was that video chat with my family, full of unspoken sadness and concern on my parent's side, and anger and loneliness on my side. That day will probably remain one of the saddest and loneliest days of my life.
The experience pushed me back into the rooms, and helped encourage me to get a sponsor. My sponsor worked the steps with me, and through my 4th and 5th steps, I saw how much my anger, fear, lust, and pride kept me from close connections with other people, not least of which my family. It showed me that while my family could be sick, they were sick like I was sick, and that I could have compassion and forgiveness for them instead of anger and unfulfilled expectations. As I worked steps 6 and 7, I saw that my defects of character, especially pride and selfishness, caused the very behaviors I didn't like in my family to appear; and as I began to put down the list of "things wrong with them" and picked up the list of "things I need to work on in myself", my relationship with them began to improve. Holidays were still hard, but I had a program of action I could take whenever I felt like arguing or criticizing them. I found I could travel home for a few days at first, then a week or more, with some enjoyment and feelings of love.
I worked the 9th step, making amends to my parents separately, and began to see some real shifts in my relationships. I actually began to trust their advice, and trust that they would support me as I strove to improve myself. I began to see them as human beings, flawed (who isn't?) but striving to be the best parents they could be. What I used to see as a failed, codependent marriage, I began to see as a marriage founded on faithfulness and loyalty, persevering and growing through much familial illness. I began to respect my parents for the hardships they went through, and the character assets they demonstrate to me. I began to enjoy their company.
Now, my parents have decided to move out to Chicago, to be close to me as I start to build a family of my own. 9 years ago, this would have been a doomsday scenario. Through the steps, I have come to not just accept this, but to welcome it, with open arms. I've gone over to their new home several times this season, to set up decorations, help unpack, and generally support them. I am so grateful to my Higher Power for giving me the gift of new relationships, and especially for renewed relationships with my family.
Prayer
Anonymous
Praying is something we do in our time. The answers come in God's time. --Rudy
Seems as if everyone talks about prayer like it’s panacea; it solves all problems magically. When I tried prayer early in recovery, I didn’t see what all the fuss was about. I did not seem to have my prayers answered. My character defects did not magically fall away. My problems did not ease just from asking God to ease them.
​
Safe to say that God changes us, the program changes us, even though we may feel little of it along the way. Those changes have collected and in that collection we find the answers that we asked God about in the first days of recovery – How can I stay sober? Why did addiction happen to me? When will all this get easier? Can I trust the program?
We have gotten answers to those questions from our recovery programs, our trusted advisors, our higher powers. And the answers are dynamic, changing as we change, but consistent in their message – acceptance, faith, service.
If I don’t think God is answering my prayers, I can pray for patience.
​
2021 Newsletter Themes
​
The newsletter editors are in the process of establishing the 2021 Great Fact themes. Are there any topics or themes you’d like to hear more about? Please let us know by sending your ideas to mailroom@slaachicago.org! Thank you!
​
​
Announcements
Intergroup Positions Available
In March, the Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup held elections for Intergroup officer positions. There are still service positions available. If you would like to participate, we encourage you to join us on January 16th, 2021 at 8 a.m. We are meeting remotely, please contact 312-725-9918 for details.
​
​
Opportunities for Newsletter Submission
As members of SLAA, you have the opportunity to contribute to our local Intergroup newsletters, as well as the fellowship-wide newsletter. Read on for more information.
​
​
Contribute to GREAT FACT
GREAT FACT—what you are reading at this very minute—is the newsletter for the Greater Chicago–Milwaukee Intergroup.
​
We're prepping for publication for the next few months and looking for the following submissions for future issues as it pertains to your experience, strength and hope:
-
Essays
-
Fiction
-
Poetry
-
Artwork
-
Photography
​
Upcoming deadlines:​​​ ​​​​
-
January (January 13th): “A New Year in Recovery, Heading into the Light” Surrender, Letting Go, and Entering a New Year
-
Are you new to the program? Are you working on a new step? Are you exploring another layer of your program?
-
-
February (February 17th): “Staying Connected”: How to stay connected to Higher Power, self, sponsor/sponsees, friends, family, recovery partners, healthy relationships.
-
March (March 17th): “Withdrawal”: The Gifts and Signposts of Withdrawal
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission." Please feel free to send us something outside of the themes above, and we’ll slot it in when appropriate. Thanks!
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Meeting Minutes- Saturday, November 21, 2020
​
Attendees:
Vince R, Intergroup Chair, RFG
Chris S, Fall Gathering Co Chair, Inreach vice chair, RFG
Verne N, Inreach Chair,Rise and Shine
Caitlyn K, Co-Editor Newsletter, Fall Gathering Co Chair, RFG
Francis B, Newsletter Co-Editor, Rise and Shine
Anthony P, Treasurer, ABM Delegate, , RFG
Ian W, Newsletter Co-Editor, RFG, KCB
Hannah K, SLAA Member, RFG
Shannon D, Intergroup Rep, Rise and Shine
Annie R, SLAA Member, Rise and Shine
Chase M, Co-Fiduciary Chair, RFG
Sean M, Intergroup Rep, St. Hedwig
Christie, Website Facilitation, RFG
Dave Sc, Intergroup Rep, Beverly
Alison, SLAA Member, RFG
Hannah C, Intergroup Rep, RFG
​
5th concept of service - Hannah K.
OFFICER REPORTS
Facilitation (10 min.)
-
Approve minutes from October - 8 approved, 2 abstention.
-
Update on review of by-laws and service role descriptions - The process is looking to be concluded by January. Once the review is complete, there will be a period of review, then a vote.
-
Special election: Outreach Chair. Candidates considered. Election Results - Sean M elected for chair, Hannah K elected vice chair. Thanks to all who submitted themselves for consideration.
-
Other SLAA events - there was a discussion around the Bay Area Intergroup Dating Panel. There apparently was access issues to an event. The group discussion centered around whether to report any information in our own newsletter. The decision was to wait and see if more information comes in, then we can reconsider.
-
Website/Facilitation update - no new treasurer’s report. Anthony P reporting in that RFG will not be having an online meeting on Thanksgiving. Anthony also discussed a desire to revise the meeting list page format.
Fiduciary (5 min.)
-
Approve treasurer's report- discussion. Prudent reserve is about $2500. There is also an $800 deposit at the DeKoven Center for next year’s SLAA Retreat. Vote was taken and the report was approved.
-
Thank you for the service at the Fall Gathering.
In-reach (15 min.)
-
Newsletter
-
October draft has discussed and approved , send out the November draft in just a few days.
-
-
Fall Gathering report (Chris and Caitlyn) - Fall Gathering brought in $195 for the Intergroup. Trusted servants from the Intergroup and the Chicago/Milwaukee Fellowship were critical to the success of the Fall Gathering.
Outreach (5 min.)
-
Sent emails to Board of Trustees and Public Information Committee asking about other SLAA outreach materials. - got some information from FWS, but most documentation has already been reviewed. Anthony P - there are people that call wanting Zoom passwords and calling clustered right around the beginning of the meeting of interest. Sean M - thank you for the opportunity to be of service.
New Business (5 min.)
-
12/12 review of material - Rise and Shine wants to know whether other groups have been assigned certain literature. Anthony suggested reviewing the 12 and 12. RFG reviewed Step 6. Anthony will send draft literature to intergroup , with the strong reminder that this is draft literature for review purposes only, not for use in meetings or as recovery material.
SUGGESTED ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR MEETING REPS:
-
Ask your meeting to Review draft 12&12
-
Submissions to newsletter
-
Encourage donations to IG via Venmo (@Augustine-Fellowship)
Proposed Next Meeting:
Saturday, Dec 19, 2020
8:00am – 9:15am
St. Hedwig’s Pastoral Center – 2114 W. Webster Ave, Chicago, IL 60647
Visit us at www.slaachicago.org
​
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Treasury Report
11/17/20 - 12/17/20
​
Starting Balance November 17, 2020 $7,477.54
Total Intergroup Group/Individual Donations $0.00
Total Expenses $146.96
Acct. Current Balance (12/17/20) Act. $7,330.58
*The full treasury report is available through your Group Intergroup Representative or by request to: mailroom@slaachicago.org.
​
​
​
SLAA Online Text-Only Chat
Those who need an additional resource in their SLAA recovery are invited to SLAA Online text-only chat recovery fellowship. Find more information by visiting the SLAA website, slaaonline.org, or by emailing slaaonline@yahoo.com.
​
​
Contribute to West Chicago Intergroup Newsletter
​​
Our friends in the West Chicago Intergroup invite members to contribute to their newsletter to share their experience, strength, and hope. According to Mark K., "Writing an article for our newsletter is one way you can serve yourself and others." For more information, email pcomind@gmail.com or visit the West Chicago Intergroup website.
​
​
Contribute to the Fellowship-Wide Newsletter: Journal
​
​The Journal is SLAA’s fellowship-wide newsletter, which goes out to fellows around the world.
The Journal seeks submissions for the “Question of the Day” for upcoming issues (deadline): ​​​
-
March/April: "God Shot" Describe any experiences that have proven to/reminded you that a Higher Power exists. How has this helped your recovery? (January 15, 2021)
-
May/June: "Returning to Romantic Relationships" Have you ever returned to romantic relations after a period of abstinence in the S.L.A.A. program? Please share any issues and concerns and how you dealt with them. (March 15, 2021)
Submit responses or other contributions to www.slaafws.org/journalsubmit.
To subscribe to the Journal or read the current issue, please click here.
Thank you for reading!
Coming in January: "A New Year in Recovery"
We invite you to share your experience, strength, and hope.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission"
​
​