August 2023 Intergroup News
Patience and Tolerance
When asked to describe a time when patience and tolerance of others was helpful to my recovery, I could not think of a specific time or situation. For me, it's more of a continuous “living of patience and tolerance of others”. Similar to a living amends.
The scenario that often gives me the opportunity to practice this is passing judgment, or arguing with people to prove that I am right and they should see it my way because my thinking and/or rationale is right, or the best.
What I found helpful is threefold. First, actively listen to others. This means not just hearing them and waiting for them to stop talking so you can interject your “flawless” perspective. It means really listening and understanding their perspective. Second, if I am feeling triggered, or wanting to interject, I take deep and slow breaths. And lastly, but probably the most simple and powerful tool, is to recognize and remember that they are imperfect people just like me. They have their defects, or shortcomings, and some people may not be aware that they do. I know of people who pray for others in these circumstances but that is not something I do. I do, however, recite this part of the serenity prayer “tolerance for those with different struggles” which has been helpful.
This was not easy to do at first, but the more I practice it, the more organically it happens in interactions. And even with practice, I sometimes still have to consciously catch myself before saying or doing something unhelpful or worse, hurtful. I then practice patience and tolerance with myself and know that life will offer plenty of opportunities to do it differently next time. And….as I was writing this last paragraph, I got a disappointing text from someone about not wanting to be at a family event because “they have other things to do”. I know this person is going through some mental health stuff, amongst other things. Pause, deep breaths, tolerance for those with different struggles…
Nothing is personal, perfect, or permanent -Buddhist mantra
-Written by an anonymous member of SLAA
The Daunting Duo
“Patience and tolerance.”
So that’s what I get assigned for my newsletter topic?!
Come. On.
Patience and tolerance are only two of the most epically altruistic words in recovery. Lofty. Selfless. Intimidating. The result of painstaking personal progress and character-building.
And who likes that?
There’s way less daunting recovery terms. For example, “acceptance.” That’s nice and inviting. Plus, as we all know, it’s “the answer.” So that makes things easy. And “resentment.” That’s got an edge, a bite. Not to mention, they’re easy to cop to and say you’re working on.
Let’s just say P&T© seem to be an especially challenging pair of ideals for me.
Why?
For starters, both patience and tolerance are polar opposites of two of my core addict attributes: instant gratification and control.
“I want what I want when I want it.” Remember that ol’ chestnut? That was my mantra for decades. It cut deep grooves in my brain. And then, here comes “patience” - with its industrial sander - to try and smooth things out. Good luck.
And the flipside of tolerance… is judgment. Hitting the “judge others” button is such a reflexive go-to and gives me something to do when I’m feeling uncomfortable. I immediately feel superior. And more In control.
And as we know, the opposite of control… is powerlessness.
No wonder P&T© are daunting. Together, they suggest I have to endure a whole lot of powerlessness.
Again, who likes that?
Thankfully, there’s a whole bunch of things I can do; a whole program that I can turn to, to deal with powerlessness. For the purposes of this essay, let’s keep it simple. (slogan alert!) I’m going to offer this assertion: If I stick close to the program, work the steps and trust HP - patience and tolerance will silently and gradually begin to infiltrate my life.
Guess what? They have.
But not on my time.
Not because of anything I did on my own.
And like so many things, I can look back and see that I have been learning and practicing P&T© within the program itself, without really noticing. (the “silent and gradual” part in action.)
I mean, I’ve made it through a couple hundred SLAA meetings (and never once, stormed out.) I’ve worked steps, written long, revealing lists and done a bunch of scary, vulnerable inventories - with the help of my fellows and my HP.
There’s some patience in all of that. Gotta be.
I’ve formed good, solid relationships with people who, at first glance, I never dreamed I’d connect with. There’s some tolerance there.
Whew, okay. In a matter of sentences, a lot of that intimidating force field around patience and tolerance has vaporized.
And to further demystify things, I just remembered two small “action phrases” that I’ve used to remind myself that P&T© are organic byproducts of doing the work, staying the course, and not magical, saint-like qualities that I can only attain through teeth-gritted self-will.
(Patience) “Trust the process”
(Tolerance) “Seek compassion”
So, in a true "life-imitating-essay" way, I’ve trusted the process while writing this, and whadaya know? I’ve gotten a little perspective on patience and tolerance. Sure they’re ideals. But they’re nowhere near as lofty and impossible as my addictive self wants me to think. Nope. Turns out, like a zillion other things, P&T© somehow materialize when I start piling up “next right things” with the help of the program.
The end.
-Written by an anonymous member of SLAA
Announcements
Fall Gathering 2023
Outgrowing Fear:
Commencing To Direct Our Attention to What God Would Have Us Be
Saturday, October 28th, 2023
Grace Episcopal, Oak Park
All-day Event
Register at: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd3lqE3wQzfQ_eTDInq3Nw_-8YqBAdKpsUysQxEye2qqa-aWw/viewform
New SLAA Meeting Update
The Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Meeting has a new location
Saturday, September 16th, 2023 8:00am – 9:15 am (Recurring every 3rd Saturday of each month.) In Person and Zoom (Hybrid):
New Location: 3326 N. Ashland, Chicago IL 60657
There is parking at the Target on the Northwest corner of School and Ashland. You must park in an upper level of the garage and not on the street-level parking in order to avoid the risk of a ticket.
Opportunity for Service:
A Chicagoland area treatment center is looking for SLAA speakers to share their experience, strength and hope in SLAA recovery at their Northbrook facility. This treatment center also has opportunities for SLAA members to speak virtually. Because it’s a professional facility, speakers will be interviewed by the SLAA Outreach Chair about their sobriety and experience in SLAA. To inquire, contact mailroom@slaachicago.org
Thank You from Intergroup
The Chicago-Milwaukee Intergroup would like to express gratitude to the following groups for their contributions, as reported at the August meeting:
Tuesday Keep Coming Back Group
Solution In The Suburbs (Deerfield) (Zoom)
Hedwigs SLAA Group (12x12 Living in the Solution)
SLAA From Anorexia to Healthy Relationships (Zoom)
These contributions help with Intergroup operations so we can continue to carry the message. Thank you!
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup Representation
The Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup is grateful to have representatives from the following meetings :
12x12 Living in the Solution
Friday/ Sunday Beverly
Oak Park
Priceless Gift of Sobriety Meeting
Ravenswood Fellowship Group
Tuesday Keep Coming Back Meeting
Friday Night into Action
The Intergroup is still seeking representatives from the following meetings:
Solution in the Suburbs
Monday Night Naperville
Tuesday Morning Suburban West
SLAA From Anorexia to Healthy Relationships
Wednesday Morning Suburban West
Milwaukee Wednesday Evening Meeting
Reba Place Church
Thursday Night Naperville
Friday Morning Suburban West
Friday Evening Suburban West
Friday Night “Into Action”
Friday Night Live
Rise & Shine (St. Pauls)
Sunday Morning Suburban West Meeting
Sunday Night Women’s Meeting (WOMEN ONLY)
Sunday Night Oak Park (Newcomer Focus)
Evanston Sunday Night Group
Women Stepping Into Serenity
Please join us in developing an inclusive SLAA community that represents the entire Chicago/Milwaukee area.
Next Meeting: (NOTE NEW LOCATION!)
Saturday, September 16th, 2023 8:00am – 9:15 am
In Person and Zoom (Hybrid): 3326 N. Ashland, Chicago IL 60657
There is parking at the Target on the Northwest corner of School and Ashland. You must park in an upper level of the garage and not on the street-level parking in order to avoid the risk of a ticket.
The intergroup would like to remind everyone that it relies on monetary donations from groups to fund its service projects. If you are an intergroup representative, please ask your home group to consider making a monthly donation to the intergroup. When sending donations via Venmo, please write “group donation” in the comments section and specify which group the donation is coming from.
Opportunities for Newsletter Submission
As members of SLAA, you have the opportunity to contribute to our local Intergroup newsletters, as well as the fellowship-wide newsletter. Read on for more information.
Contribute to GREAT FACT
GREAT FACT—what you are reading at this very minute—is the newsletter for the Greater Chicago–Milwaukee Intergroup.
We're prepping for publication for the next few months and looking for the following submissions for future issues as it pertains to your experience, strength and hope:
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Essays
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Fiction
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Poetry
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Artwork
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Photography
Upcoming deadlines:
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September Theme: Bottom Lines: How have I added to my bottom lines to keep growing in recovery?
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission." Please feel free to send us something outside of the themes above, and we’ll slot it in when appropriate. Thanks!
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Meeting Minutes- Saturday, July 15th, 2023
8:00AM - 9:15 AM
In Person and Zoom (Hybrid): NTAC 3326 N. Ashland
Member Name, Role , Home Group
Chris S, RFG Facilitation Chair, RFG
Anthony, Inreach Vice Chair, ABM Delegate, Tuesday - Keep Coming Back Group
Caitlyn, Inreach Chair/ABM Delegate, RFG
Abby, RFG IG Rep, Fall Gathering Co-Chair, Website Co-facilitator, Tuesday KCB, RFG
Hannah K, Fiduciary Chair, RFG
Zane, Website Co-Facilitator, RFG
Dave S, Newsletter Co-Editor, RFG
Christie K, Summer Retreat Co-Chair, Friday Into Action
Papa, Fiduciary Vice Chair, RFG
Burke, Events Vice Chair, 12 x 12 Living in the Solution
Ian, RFG, Tuesday KCB
Ryan, Newsletter Editor in Training, Tuesday Priceless Gift of Sobriety
READINGS & INTRODUCTIONS (12 Minutes)
● Prayer for a Trusted Servant
● Traditions
● Introductions (name, group affiliation and position)
● Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA IG Statement of Purpose
● Review Agenda
● Concept 8: Anthony, (Concept 9 _______(?) TBD)
Facilitation (5 Minutes.)
● General Report: Chris
○ Approve Minutes: June Approved
○ Website Facilitation: Zane, Abby
■ Web Facilitation
■ Fiduciary email confirm part of group Confirmed
■ New permanent page for SLAA Summer Retreat TBC
■ Setting Google Drive Permissions - Review IG members have Access Chris ongoing, may delegate TBC
■ Drop Down Menu Project Zane gathered information: In order
to have a drop down menu, we would need to use
wordpress.org and embed it on our squarespace page. Cost
would be $3/month for year 1, $10/month for year 2 and beyond, plus ~$30 maintenance fee… Motion PASSED (unanimously) $36 year 1, ~$150 year 2 and beyond. This will allow newcomers and fellows to utilize a meeting finder feature on our website. This is the same program used by AA Intergroups.
○ Special Projects:
■ Intergroup Position Responsibilities (Review All Positions and Edit/Add ABM Delegate and Event Coordinator positions) - Progress - Hannah K.
■ Trevor/Hannah - event coordinator position description? This project is almost completed, and awaiting any edits from Anthony.
■ Retreat Guide for Trusted Servants progress - Anthony/Caitlyn This
project is also almost completed. Caitlyn added the letter. People
can review it. Caitlyn will review with Christie this weekend.
■ Note: Our retreat goal is actually to have our retreat not
be in the summer, but to take place during early fall dates.
We need to work on this with Dekoven!
Fiduciary (5 Minutes)
● General Treasurer Report: Hannah Chair/Treasurer, Papa vice chair
○ Note: The actual retreat cost is $340/person. However, since the
retreat was advertised as $299, with ½ scholarships available, we are
viewing the 50% amount to be $150, even though it is technically
more and the IG is funding the difference for all attendees (due to
overpayment last year).
● Report Financials: General
● Approve Treasury Report
● Q and A
OutReach (5 Minutes)
● General Report: Ian W
○ SLAA Speakers for Suncloud
■ Important to explain to Kimmy at SunCloud that the entire SLAA Fellowship in Chicago is smaller than some singular AA meetings. Ian will continue to try to work with Kimmy and our fellows to arrange a speaker.
○ Outreach to far suburban meetings
■ Comments re: Non-Existing Meetings: Suggestion to reach out (or show up) to meetings that do not seem to exist and/or have correct contact information on our website. Share a short paragraph with them to say that we need them to step up in some way or we need to step back- i.e. send an IG rep (ideal, full participation!), or at least email IG with your meeting info.(partial participation). With no contact person and/or email or number, we cannot continue to list your meeting on our IG website, since this is not helpful for the Newcomer.
○ Q and A
Inreach General Report (15 Minutes)
● General Report: Caitlyn K
○ Newsletter Report (Dave S, Ryan W)
○ Production Editor: Dave S
■ Contributions Editor/s: Search for new contributing editors (Chris and Caitlyn)
● July Topic: First Things First -Describe an event, or time in
your life when you put sobriety first. How did keeping
sobriety “front and center”help you deal with the problems
underneath the acting out? Please send to
mailroom@slaachicago.org before Friday July 21.
● July topic was included again since there were no
contributions yet to IG.
● August Topic: Patience & Tolerance: Describe a time when
patience and tolerance of others shortcomings, and respect
for their opinions has been useful to your recovery.
○ Update on Group Reps including suburban/oak park groups (See Comment above re: Non-Existing Meetings)
○ Retreat 2023 Chris, Christie
■ 44 people currently registered, 35 with actual down payments.
■ Doubling up rooms - progress on expanding room selection
■ "New Freedom, New Happiness: The Promise of the 12 Steps"
■ Aug 24-27
■ Donations Goal - 900 dollar goal currently met will need >$1750 to cover all scholarship requests.
■ Need to have conversation with DeKoven on status of food quality and 2024 dates
■ Financials for 35/40 participants. Currently if we have 35 people, with our current donations, we can break even if we only grant 7 out of 10
scholarships. If we have 40 people, that drops to 6 out of 10
scholarships. If we find room for all 44 current registrants, only 5 out of
10 scholarships can be awarded.
● Important to connect again with Dekoven leaders re: meal
plan for retreat.
● Important to meet with Dekovan leaders (and supervisor?) in
person at the retreat to discuss our preferred retreat dates in
person.
○ Spring Retreat 2024 - Exploratory Committee (Zane and Jeremy)
● Maybe @ Dekoven? Desderado (SP?) is also a good option.
○ Ongoing issues with meeting’s zoom links? (See Comment above re: Non-Existing Meetings)
○ Milwaukee SLAA Meeting Website - Discussion (See Comment above re: Non-Existing Meetings) Also, this is likely due to lack of knowledge of the Milwaukee fellowship members. Try to reach out to Kristin, gather contact information for MWK contact(s), and have conversations to educate their group. OK if they want to list their own local meetings on a website, but maybe also include a link to our shared IG?
○ Fall Gathering Update: Abby, Jeremy
● Fellowship will be at the same location in Oak Park.
■ Update FG Guide - Anthony
■ Q and A
○ Event Coordinator: Trevor
■ Event Coordinator Position Description - sent and reviewed?
■ Event/s Proposed - Burke in Oak Park?
■ Upcoming Events (In the works)
■ Q and A
○ Sponsorship workshop (tabled)
Annual Business Meeting Delegates (25 min)
● ABM Delegates: Anthony and Caitlyn, 2023 ABM Delegates
○ Additional Delegate Search and Confirmation.
○ IFD Submissions and Reports
○ Feedback from groups on various motions:
■ Friday/Sunday Beverly Meeting - “Sex and Love Addiction on the internet” pamphlet
■ 12x12 meeting: anorexia questions as core documents of SLAA
■ Tuesday KCBG - IFD on current and future issues regarding recovery materials posted to the internet
■ RFG - Board publishing committee’s report on the process to create
literature from the initial proposal through BOT publication
○ New Proposed S.L.A.A. Basic Text Revision - Ongoing Chapter revisions to 4-8? Edit Reviewing needed. Caitlyn/Anthony
○ Chicago Hosting ABM - ongoing check in. Motion Passed 9/11, 2/11 abstained. Discussion: Having ABM here (2 year commitment) would entitle us to 6 voting attendees. Cost $1,000 for hospitality suite. Need 2-3 people committed to be on an exploratory committee, as well as fellows volunteering throughout the ABM, Mon-Fri. Need to join the FWS planning committee, meet monthly. Discuss IRC for year #2.
● Intergroup Representatives Feedback- as needed
New Business (10 min.) As Possible
● Location/Time
SUGGESTED ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR MEETING REPS:
● Submissions to newsletter - August Theme:
○ Deadline for Submissions: August Topic: Patience & Tolerance: Describe a time when patience and tolerance of others shortcomings, and respect for their opinions has been useful to your recovery.
● Subscribe to the newsletter on the slaachicago website
● Encourage donations to IG via Venmo (@Augustine-Fellowship)
● Please submit Meeting Updates via the Meeting Update Function on the Website (reopening, etc.)
● Retreat Dates August 24 - 27, 2023
● Fall Gathering October 28
● Proposed Next Meeting: August 19, 2023.
Saturday, August 19, 2023
8:00am – 9:15 am
Hybrid both In-Person (preferred) and OnLine (Zoom ID Above)
NEW LOCATION FOR INTERGROUP MEETINGS STARTING IN JULY 3326 N Ashland Ave.
Parking is available in the Target garage - but not the outside parking.
Visit us at www.slaachicago.org
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Treasury Report
07/15/23 - 08/18/23
Starting Balance 07/15/23 $8,689.12
Total Intergroup Group/Individual Donations $4,669.20
Total Expenses $17.43
Acct. Current Balance 07/14/23 Act. $13,340.89
The full treasury report is available through your Group Intergroup Representative or by request to: mailroom@slaachicago.org
SLAA Online Text-Only Chat
Those who need an additional resource in their SLAA recovery are invited to SLAA Online text-only chat recovery fellowship. Find more information by visiting the SLAA website, slaaonline.org, or by emailing slaaonline@yahoo.com.
Contribute to the Fellowship-Wide Newsletter: Journal
The Journal is SLAA’s fellowship-wide newsletter, which goes out to fellows across the world.
Upcoming themes are TO BE ANNOUNCED
Submit responses or other contributions to www.slaafws.org/journalsubmit.
To subscribe to the Journal or read the current issue, please click here.
Thank you for reading!
Coming in August: “Bottom Lines”- Submission deadline is September 16th
We invite you to share your experience, strength, and hope.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org
with the subject line "Newsletter Submission"