April 2023 Intergroup News
We Commence To Outgrow Fear
“We commence to outgrow fear” Program on the road
Traveling is a necessary part of life for me, sometimes for work and sometimes for fun. This year in sobriety I’ve been able to travel to Italy with my wife for our anniversary, to Florida for work, to Kentucky for other work, and to Louisiana to visit family. While all these trips were different, they had one key thing in common: a travel sobriety plan.
Each time before I leave town, my sponsor has me create a sober travel plan so I can successfully take my program on the road. To be honest, I almost never want to; I want to treat travel as a vacation from program. But every time I make a plan, and every time I find it makes the trip more enjoyable and makes me more present for it.
I write on my plan what I can commit to doing daily while on the road: prayer, 10 minutes of step work, at least two phone calls for example. Then I write all the possible meetings I can make it to and write what my bare minimum is for number of meetings I will hit while away. It’s extremely helpful for me to commit to one in person meeting even if that is for another fellowship - I get so much more out of in person connection to fellows than virtual connection. It’s also very helpful to list all the meetings I could make rather than just the ones I plan to go to; plans change, triggers come up, and I want my program to be flexible to respond to that.
Lastly I make a specific part of my sober travel plan around challenges I can see coming. For example, in regards to a trip to Savannah, I knew that I would be around beaches a lot so I made a plan for how I would handle that. When I would step away to make a phone call. How I would choose what part of the beach I would go to lay down. Under what conditions I wouldn’t go at all. All of this helped me to have fun rather than have fear.
I am powerless over my sex and love addiction, whether I am in Chicago or anywhere else in the world, so I need my program. It can definitely be more difficult to stay sober while away from my regular meetings, but I don’t need to have fear. With a plan on paper (and a sponsor helping to hold me to it) I can embrace travel and bring the program with me. Higher power is everywhere! All I need to do is stay tapped into that source.
Trevor V.
My addiction is driven by fear.
By Pat H.
My addiction is driven by fear. I am afraid everyday. I am afraid right now. Under the surface of the confident image I project is a sensitive guy, easily blown over by the mildest gust of rejection (or perceived rejection).
When I act out, it feels like a night haranguing with strange women will end my fear. Strange women won’t reject me. Maybe they even like me. Or they minimally think I am “hot.” And “hot” people are not lonely…they don’t die alone at least; they are safe. And that is what I really want: connection, not dying alone, and safety.
After a debaucherous night, I would quickly realize acting out did not provide the safety I was looking for. I was still alone. Worse, I was further from my goal of “finding love” than I was when I started. There, in the post-debaucherous pit of self-absorbed shame and mind gobbling despair, I thought I found the real Pat. No one could ever love that Pat. He was ugly. He was a hypocrite. And he was not sure how to get home (sometimes literally).
In that state, I had to return to the version of me I projected to the strange women. Acting out was not a choice. It was my solution. I had to. After waiting a week or so, I would repeat the whole experiment. Maybe, this time, I would find the woman of my dreams, or minimally achieve an orgasm powerful enough that I would forever learn that I am worthy of love. Then I wouldn’t have to repeat the experiment again in another week.
It got dark. I was convinced that, at death, they would find my body in a pile of used tissue papers and old porno-mags (the tissue being a direct result of the porno mags). Even though I was born in the 1990’s and have never acted out with magazines, my subconscious mind randomly imagines that I will regress to an earlier time when porn was not on the internet…addiction doesn’t always make sense. I can’t tell you how my brain works, but I can say that my mind went to strange places.
I lived in a self-fulfilling cycle: fear of being alone → “find someone quick” → feel ugly because of the methods I used to “find someone quick” → fear being alone. I couldn’t stop. My conscious mind saw that the cycle was insane, but without a different solution, acting out was the only coping skill I had. I returned to the cycle again and again.
Now, in withdrawal, I am still terrified of dying alone. I am frightened that no one will want me. I am scared that I am ugly. I am anxious that everyone sees through the image I project. But I am learning, one day at a time, to have new coping skills. I write (sometimes posts like this). I call fellows. I do step work. I am learning to trust that God will not let me die in a pile of used tissues and old porno mags. I am learning to sit in loneliness until it turns to solitude.
I have created a newfound inner space. There, in the self-respect and patience that never used to exist, I am meeting the real “real Pat,” not the shame-version. It’s the first time I have ever met me. It turns out, I am worthy of love. In the midst of a holy withdrawal, I am finding myself acceptable. Its even possible that I am attractive. Unlike the person I pretended to be before though, I have flaws too. Now though, both my attractive qualities and my defects can live together in one person.
I am still afraid. To be honest, I am afraid often. But one day at a time, I am learning to be brave too. Maybe that is the basis for steps two and three: the courage to trust in a power greater than my fear of dying alone. If that higher power does exist, then I don’t need to meet strange women online anymore. I can meet myself instead.
Announcements
SUMMER RETREAT 2023:
Registration is open!!
August 24-27, 2023
New SLAA Meeting Update
Registration is at
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1f7GIdPzDOFra_PzIeEKGi6zNm0HkYrudEu8hM7nKOYA/viewform?edit_requested=true
Opportunity for Service:
A Chicagoland area treatment center is looking for SLAA speakers to share their experience, strength and hope in SLAA recovery at their Northbrook facility. This treatment center also has opportunities for SLAA members to speak virtually. Because it’s a professional facility, speakers will be interviewed by the SLAA Outreach Chair about their sobriety and experience in SLAA.
To inquire, contact mailroom@slaachicago.org
Thank You from Intergroup
The Chicago-Milwaukee Intergroup would like to express gratitude to the following groups
for their contributions, as reported at the April meeting:
Individual Contributions - $11.00
These contributions help with Intergroup operations so we can continue to carry the message. Thank you!
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup Representation
The Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup is grateful to have representatives
from the following meetings :
12x12 Living in the Solution
Friday/ Sunday Beverly
Oak Park
Priceless Gift of Sobriety Meeting
Ravenswood Fellowship Group
Solution in the Suburbs
Tuesday Keep Coming Back Meeting
The Intergroup is still seeking representatives from the following meetings:
Monday Night Naperville
Tuesday Morning Suburban West
SLAA From Anorexia to Healthy Relationships
Wednesday Morning Suburban West
Milwaukee Wednesday Evening Meeting
Reba Place Church
Thursday Night Naperville
Friday Morning Suburban West
Friday Evening Suburban West
Serenity on Friday
Friday Night “Into Action”
Friday Night Live
Rise & Shine (St. Pauls)
Sunday Morning Suburban West Meeting
Sunday Night Women’s Meeting (WOMEN ONLY)
Sunday Night Oak Park (Newcomer Focus)
Evanston Sunday Night Group
Women Stepping Into Serenity
Please join us in developing an inclusive SLAA community that represents the entire Chicago / Milwaukee area by sending a representative from your meeting to be part of Intergroup service.
Next Meeting: Saturday, May 20, 2023 - 8:00am – 9:15 am
In Person and Zoom (Hybrid): NTAC 909 W. Belmont 2nd fl. West Room
Visit us at www.slaachicago.org
Opportunities for Newsletter Submission
As members of SLAA, you have the opportunity to contribute to our local Intergroup newsletters, as well as the fellowship-wide newsletter. Read on for more information.
Contribute to GREAT FACT
GREAT FACT—what you are reading at this very minute—is the newsletter for the Greater Chicago–Milwaukee Intergroup.
We're prepping for publication for the next few months and looking for the following submissions for future issues as it pertains to your experience, strength and hope:
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Essays
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Fiction
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Poetry
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Artwork
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Photography
Upcoming deadlines: May: New Theme: “Act As If.” If you want to behave a certain way you have to start acting in a positive way - “Fake it till you make it”. Describe a time in your recovery when you had the faith to start doing something before you thought you were ready. Submission deadline is May 18th.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org with the subject line "Newsletter Submission."
Please feel free to send us something outside of the themes above, and we’ll slot it in when appropriate. Thanks!
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Meeting Minutes- Saturday, March 18, 2023
8:00AM - 9:15 AM
In Person and Zoom (Hybrid): NTAC 909 W. Belmont 2nd fl. West Room
Member Name, Role , Home Group
Chris S , Inreach Chair, Summer Retreat co-ordinator - RFG
Anthony P, Facilitation Chair, Tuesday - Keep Coming Back Group
Ian W , Outreach Chair, - RFG
Abby H, Fall Gathering Co-Chair - RFG
Zane W, Website Co Facilitator - RFG
Caitlyn K, Co Chair: Summer retreat - RFG
Trevor V, Fall Gathering Chair/Events Coordinator RFG
Jim F, visitor / 12/12 Living in the Solution
Burke, Meeting Rep, - 12/12 Living in the Solution
Dave S, Newsletter Editor RFG
Adam, SLAA member
Dave Sc, Intergroup Rep for Burbank Serenity Mtg
Hannah K , Outreach Chair/ Out reach Vice Chair, - RFG
Papa A, Fiduciary Chair - RFG
Chase, SLAA member, RFG
Larry R, IG rep - Oak Park Saturday Morning
Suzanna - Visitor
READINGS & INTRODUCTIONS (12 Minutes)
● Prayer for a Trusted Servant
● Traditions
● Introductions (name, group affiliation and position)
● Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA IG Statement of Purpose
● Review Agenda
● Concept 5: Abby (Concept 6 April Jim F)
OFFICER REPORTS ABBREVIATED DUE TO ELECTIONS
Facilitation (5 Minutes.)
● General Report: Chris
● Approve Minutes: February - Minutes Approved
●Correction on newsletter? Dave S continuing, Ryan W coming in as vice editor? Chris to update February minutes with this correction
● Website Facilitation: Zane, Abby
● Web Facilitation
● SMeetings Chicago Listings (Incorrect and Chicago West)tabled
● Defunct Meetings and Old Events to remove tabled
● Add Summer Retreat to Events page - Fall Gathering dates still being discussed
● Setting Google Drive Permissions - Review IG members have Access tabled
● Drop Down Menu Project- No updates this month
● Special Projects:
● Intergroup Position Responsibilities (Review All Positions and Edit/Add ABM Delegate and Event Coordinator positions) - Progress - Hannah K. Trevor and Hannah to review for Event Coordinator
● Retreat Guide for Trusted Servants progress - Anthony.tabled
● Passwords and logins update - Chris Chris to work on this
Fiduciary (5 Minutes)
● General Treasurer Report: Hannah Chair/Treasurer, Papa vice chair ● Report Financials: General - Papa proposed a 50% donation on
the remaining balance after prudent reserve to FWS, a total of $1,718.27. Chris to review with Hannah and Papa to ensure all
other costs are reflected. The last donation to FWS was in 2021.
● Approve Treasury Report
●Q and A
OutReach (5 Minutes)
● General Report: Sean M outgoing, Ian W nominated.
● Election of new Outreach Chair - Ian W. Ian unanimously voted in as Outreach chair.
● Tuesday Hazelden Transition & Intergroup Relinquishes support - Self Supporting Chris to discuss with the meeting chairs that the
communications between the meeting and Hazelden will be turned over to the meeting as they are self supporting. But Intergroup will remain connected with Hazelden for outreach purposes.
● SLAA Speakers for Suncloud
● Q and A
Inreach General Report (15 Minutes)
● General Report: Caitlyn K
● Newsletter Report (Dave S, Ryan W ) The April theme is “We commenced to outgrow fear” and due by April 15. Dave incorporated the feedback regarding looking for SunCloud speakers in the last newsletter, please take a look.
● Production Editor: Dave S
● Contributions Editor/s: Christie K, Josh F
● Update on Group Reps including suburban/oak park groups more to come over the next months
● Retreat 2023 Chris, Christie
■ Payment Option and Venmo Button ADDED An email with the
registration link will be sent out closer to the retreat similar to prior years timing.
● Food quality - being addressed No updates yet from the retreat center ■ Donations Goal
● Spring Retreat 2023 - Exploratory Committee
● Q and A
● Fall Gathering Update: Abby, Jeremy Chairs are meeting with the church, looking to be back at Oak Park church and are starting to think about the theme. Currently looking at the last 2 saturdays in October for the date.
●Update FG Guide - Anthony
v Q and A
● Event Coordinator: Trevor Trevor to work with Hannah on creating the position description
● Event Coordinator Position- given to Burke
● Event/s Proposed Looking to do an open picnic soon, will be open to both SLAA and non-SLAA members. More details to come.
● Budgets
● Upcoming (In the works)
● Q and A
● Sponsorship workshop (tabled)
Intergroup Representatives Feedback
● Dave Sc - Feedback from Rise and Shine on Delegates. Motion withdrawn as Dave was not representing Rise and Shine as IG rep.
Annual Business Meeting Delegates (25 min)
● ABM Delegates: Anthony and Caitlyn, 2023 ABM Delegates
● Additional Delegate Search and Confirmation.
● ABM Items Review and Feedback - IG reps to volunteer for items to have their groups weigh in on. Small groups after meetings ideal - sober feedback given to the delegates so that they can represent our Group Conscience at the
international level.
● ABM topics that will be reviewed by the following meetings:
● Friday/Sunday Beverly meeting: IFD: To receive comments and suggestions from delegates on the text of the “Sex and love addiction on the internet” pamphlet
●12x12 meeting: motion: to adopt the following as core documents of SLAA: “what is Anorexia in SLAA” excerpted from the anorexia sexual, social, emotional pamphlet and the 50 questions from the “are you anorectic” section of the anorexia pamphlet.
●Tuesday keep coming back meeting: IFD: discussion about current and future issues regarding recovery materials (audio and visual) posted to the internet
● RFG: IFD: the board publishing committee seeks conference and fellowship wide discussion and comment on the report of its literature creation, editing and publishing subcommittee on the process used to create conference approved literature from the initial proposal through BOT publishing.
● New Proposed S.L.A.A. Basic Text Revision - Request for Feedback Conference - first 3 chapters - Anthony Those interested in a 90 minute working group to review major changes and feedback were sent to Anthony
● Discussed pitching Chicago to host a future ABM meeting.
ELECTIONS: (5 minutes)
Outreach - Ian W
Intergroup Representatives Feedback- as needed
New Business (10 min.) As Possible
● Location/Time
SUGGESTED ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR MEETING REPS:
● Submissions to newsletter - April Theme: We commenced to outgrow fear” ○ Deadline for Submissions: April 15th
● Encourage donations to IG via Venmo (@Augustine-Fellowship)
● Please submit Meeting Updates via the Meeting Update Function on the Website
(reopening, etc)
● Retreat Dates August 24 - 27, 2023
● New Wicker Park Founders Sought - and SPEAKERS see Isaac Y. and James R.
Proposed Next Meeting:
Saturday, April 15, 2023
8:00am – 9:15 am
Hybrid both In-Person (preferred) and OnLine (Zoom ID Above)
Visit us at www.slaachicago.org
Greater Chicago/Milwaukee SLAA Intergroup
Treasury Report
03/18/23 - 04/14/23
Starting Balance (03/18/23) $11,779.88
Total Intergroup Group/Individual Donations $11.00
Total Expenses $88.52
Acct. Current Balance (04/14/23) Act. $11,702.36
*The full treasury report is available through your Group Intergroup Representative or
by request to: mailroom@slaachicago.org.
SLAA Online Text-Only Chat
Those who need an additional resource in their SLAA recovery are invited to SLAA Online text-only chat recovery fellowship. Find more information by visiting the SLAA website, slaaonline.org, or by emailing slaaonline@yahoo.com.
Contribute to the Fellowship-Wide Newsletter: Journal
The Journal is SLAA’s fellowship-wide newsletter, which goes out to fellows across the world.
Upcoming themes are TO BE ANNOUNCED
Submit responses or other contributions to www.slaafws.org/journalsubmit.
To subscribe to the Journal or read the current issue, please click here.
Thank you for reading!
Coming in May “Act As If.”
If you want to behave a certain way you have to start acting in a positive way - “Fake it till you make it”. Describe a time in your recovery when you had the faith to start doing something before you thought you were ready. Submission deadline is May 18th.
We invite you to share your experience, strength, and hope.
To submit, please send an email to mailroom@slaachicago.org
with the subject line "Newsletter Submission"